Page 38 of The Last to Let Go
“Yeah,” she says softly, not even pretending to think about it. A smile is forming at the corners of her mouth. “But I already thought that.”
I sit up straight and do my best to play along, pretend to be offended. “Oh really?”
“Of course. Considering the first time I saw you, you were storming into Robinson’s class like some kind of rabid animal on a rampage. You had this wild look in your eyes. So. Yeah. My first thought:Freak. Total freak.”
“Wow, thanks. I feel so loved.”
“You should, because my second thought was,Oh fun, I hope she sits next to me. Because, well, I guess I happen to like freaks.”
“Good for me, I guess.”
“And me too.”
As we sit here laughing, the whole rest of the world falls away. But I hear something, a muffled noise that doesn’t even register right away—a ring tone. It’s the alarm on my phone. Which means the crosstown bus is leaving right now, and I had to be on it if I was going to get to work on time.
“Oh shit!” I jump up and grab my bag. “I have to go, sorry. Sorry, sorry, I have to go!” I start running. I turn around once and wave. She’s standing there next to the bench. “Sorry!” I yell one more time.
I cannot miss that bus.
I run as fast as I can across the wide expanse of cool grass and shade trees that make up the campus, past the rows of buildings, finally reaching the corner stop just as my bus is pulling away. I manage to conjure up one last burst of energy and really make a break for it, screaming and waving my arms over my head. “Wait, wait! Wait, don’t leave!” I run up alongside the bus as it’s gaining speed, pounding my fists against its metal body. I look up, on my very last ounce of adrenaline, and right as I’m about to lose hope, I see a woman look down at me through the window. Then I watch as she shouts something to the driver.
The brakes squeal, bringing the bus to a stop. I let myself slow down to a jog, before I mount the three giant steps, gasping as I tell the driver, “Thank you, thank you so much.” I collapse into the closest empty seat and try to catch my breath. And twenty minutes into the ride, even though I’m breathing normally again, my heart is still pounding at this wild pace. All light and fast and skipping beats.
It stays in a frenzy as I walk the two blocks to Jackie’s from the bus stop. It stays like that through each cup of coffee I pour. And it stays like that as I climb the stairs to our apartment hours later. Even as I put my key in the lock and turn. As I lie down in bed that night, I place my hand on my chest and try to will it into calmness. Then I reread the messages on my phone.
Dani:what up, cinderella?
Me:What?
Dani:you just up and ran away. what, fairy godmother waiting?
Me:Oh. No, had to catch my bus.
Dani:ah, i see. it was the pumpkin. hate that. ;)
Me:Had to go to work. Didn’t want to be late.
Dani:ok. just making sure I didn’t scare you off. def wouldn’t want that.
THE TEST
“MORNING, CINDERELLA,” DANI GREETS ME,already sitting in her spot when I walk into the classroom the next morning. We’re the first ones to arrive, even before Dr. Robinson. She smiles as I set my things down next to her. And there goes my heart again, speeding up like I’ve just had a shot of espresso injected directly into my bloodstream.
“Hey.” I decided I would try to act like nothing had happened between us yesterday afternoon. “Good morning,” I add. Because, after all, nothing really did happen. As I sit down, she looks at me like I should be saying something. “How are you?” I try.
She wrinkles her forehead and smirks at me as if that’s a ridiculous question. Then she sits up straight, interlaces her fingers so her hands are folded together neatly on top of her desk, and says, “I’m fine, Brooke,” her tone stiff and edgy. “How are you this morning?” she adds, an automated quality to her voice.
“Um... okay,” I tell her, uncertain about this tension I feel coming off her. “What?”
Her posture slumps back down and she unlocks her hands, running one through her hair. “Nothing, you just...” She stops herself, like she decided against whatever was to come next. “Never mind.”
I begin pulling my things out of my backpack, but I can feel her eyes piercing me the whole time.
“So, you ready?” she finally asks, almost her normal tone again.
“Ready?” I repeat.
“For the test.”
