Page 11 of The Way I Am Now
Steve:will u pls respond
Mara:steve is freaking out
Mara:I kinda am too btw
Steve:where are you???
“Shit, they’re looking for me,” I tell Josh as I type out a message but then delete it, unable to decide who will be more understanding, Mara or Steve. “I’m sorry; I wanted to keep talking.”
“No, it’s okay,” he says, squinting at his phone for a moment before pocketing it again. “I think I’m in trouble with my friends too.”
“You can blame me,” I tell him.
He just smiles, shakes his head. “Never.”
People are beginning to congregate around our table now, edging us out. “I guess we should go,” Josh says as he hops off the table and holds his hand out for me to take.
I step down from the bench onto the pavement, still holding his hand as I turn and walk right into Steve.
JOSH
This guy is standing way too close. I’m about to tell him to back off, but then I recognize something in the look on his face as his eyes flash between me and Eden, then down at our hands. She lets go too fast.
I recognize the look because it must be mirroring my own.
“Oh,” I say out loud, my brain processing what’s happening way too slowly.
He says he’s been looking for her, and as she steps away from me, he puts his arm around her shoulder like he’s claiming her.Mine, his eyes tell me.
“Um, Josh, this is Steve,” Eden says. “Steve, you probably remember Josh—he went to school with us.”
“No,” the guy—Steve—says.
Another girl walks up and puts her hand on Eden’s other shoulder. I recognize her; I met her once. “Oh my God,” she says as she recognizes me too.
Eden steps away from Steve. Takes her friend’s arm instead. “I don’t know if you remember—”
“Josh, yeah, of course. Hey.”
“Hi, it’s Mara, isn’t it?” I manage to say.
“Yes,” she answers, smiling. “Good memory.” Then she lets go of Eden’s arm and pulls another guy forward, who raises a hand to wave at me. “This is my boyfriend, Cameron.”
“Oh, yeah.” I don’t know how I’m continuing to speak and breathe when she’s so close now and she’s about to be far and I don’t know when I’ll see her again. “I think we had a class together, didn’t we? Bio or—”
“Chem lab,” he corrects me with a nod.
“Right,” I answer, but it’s hard to focus because I’m watching her twisting her arms together, her fingers wrapping around one another so tight, and I can feel how uncomfortable she is. This guy,Steve, grabs her hand, separating it from her own grip, and he’s staring me down like he wants a fight. I can feel it radiating off him, seeping into my skin.
Behind them, I see Dominic walking toward us through the crowd. As he gets closer, he’s shaking his head and he’s holding his arms in the air. “You missed the whole thing!” he shouts. And because he has this deep, bellowing voice and towers over the entire crowd, everyone turns to stare.
As he comes to stand next to me and sees what’s happening, he gives me a look—anI told you somixed with sympathy.
“Dominic,” I say, thankful to have something to say. “This is—”
“Eden,” he finishes, so cheerful he doesn’t give a hint at his true feelings about her—or rather, aboutmeand her. “So good to finally meet you.”
“Oh,” she says, surprised, I guess, that he knows who she is. But she offers him a quick smile and a nod. “You too.”
