Page 118 of The Way I Am Now
“Haven’t you wanted to get your cartilage pierced since, like, forever?” she asks, reaching out to touch my ear. “It’s very tasteful and cute.”
I shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Well? Why not do it now?”
“I’m not sure the middle of an emotional crisis is really the best time to commit to permanent body alteration.”
“Oh, please,” she says, unbuckling her seat belt. “Emotional crises are literally theonlytime to do this kind of thing! And a piercing is hardly permanent. A tattoo—now, that’s a lifetime commitment. No, you’re getting your cartilage pierced, and if you hate it, you can take it out. Come on. Cameron’s working today. He’ll get us in right away.”
“He still works here?”
“Yeah. After graduation he moved from piercer to apprentice tattoo artist.”
I follow her inside and recognize the small waiting room from last time—somehow it seems less shady now, though, cleaner. The music playing through the speakers seems gentler, everything softer now than it was before. Cameron comes out from the back and actually looks happy to see me here with Mara.
“Hey, Eden. Wow, it’s been a while,” he says, all smiles.
“Edy’s getting a piercing,” she tells him.
“Actually,” I say as I look around at all the artwork on the walls, “I was thinking I might get a tattoo.” Because maybe I do need something permanent, something drastic. Something to bring me back to reality when I get in my head.
“What?” Mara shrieks. “Yes!”
Cameron sets me down with a bunch of books and says, “Here, look through these portfolios for ideas. I’m gonna finish up with this guy in the back and then we’ll do it.”
I look through the books, turning page after page, waiting for something to jump out at me, while Mara talks with the older tatted-up guy behind the front desk like they’re old friends—and they might be. I’ve missed a lot.
And then I turn the page, and in the middle of all these different elaborate, pretty, floral designs, I see it. “Found it,” I call out to Mara.
She skips over to me and looks. “A dandelion? That’s sweet. Understated. Veryyou.”
The guy from behind the counter comes over to look too, seeming excited for me. “Nice,” he says. “Where are you getting it?”
I look down at my arms and push my sleeve up. “Maybe here?” I say, drawing a circle with my finger around the inside of my wrist.
“Yeah,” he says with a smile, “that’s gonna look good.”
Mara hops and squeals. “Now you’re making me want to get one too. But I’ll wait. This is your day.”
“No, it’s not. It’s . . .” I start to say, but then I freeze when I see who’s coming out from the back room, Cameron following along behind him up to the counter. I can see he has the sleeve of his T-shirt rolled up, a fresh tattoo on his shoulder, covered with plastic wrap, but I can still make it out. A number. His number from basketball. Forever branded on his body.
It’s Jock Guy. Again, haunting me like some kind of unresolved recurring nightmare.
I watch him as he pays Cameron; he doesn’t even notice me sitting here. He may have chased me down before, but now it’s my turn. Suddenly I’m on my feet, following him out, the chimes on the door dinging twice in quick succession.
“Hey,” I call after him. “Hey!”
He turns around. “Yeah?”
“Do you remember me?” I ask him.
He starts to shake his head, but then I see something register on his face, “Oh. Yeah, you’re Caelin’s . . .” But he pauses. “I mean, your Josh’s . . .” He starts again but stops.
“I’m Caelin’s, I’m Josh’s,” I mimic, savoring the sharpness in my tone. “Eden, my name’s Eden.”
“Right, yeah,” he says, glancing around, maybe looking for Caelin, for Josh—to see if they’re here to defend me. “So, what’s up?”
“Just so you know, I remember what you did that day. When you and your buddy wanted to scare me after school that time. And I know you spread lies about me too.”
