Page 57 of The Way I Am Now
“The apple thing makes more sense now,” I say, looking at the fountain again.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“I’m surprisedyoulike it—it’s so edgy and weird.”
“I like edgy and weird,” he says as he moves the strand of hair that’s fallen out of my half-assed attempt at an updo. “My favorite person in the world is a little edgy and weird, herself.”
“Josh,” I begin, but I don’t really know what to say.
He stares into the water, lights shining up from underneath, casting reflections of movement all around us.
“Every day, when I would pass by, seeing your name there, I would sort of daydream about you being here. Or me bringing you here.”
“You know I thought about you too, right?”
He nods, taking both of my hands.
But I need him to really know. “It’s not that I justthoughtabout you, though. I . . .”Achedis the word I’m having trouble getting out.
“I know,” he says softly, but I wonder if he really does. “You know, I always thought if we got a second chance, I wanted to do it right this time,” he continues, drawing his eyebrows together. “Do you know what I mean?”
This time I nod.
“Because I want this with you,” he says, eyes fastened to mine. “I really do.”
“I do too,” I tell him. “More than anything.”
He smiles now, and I can see his whole body relax, his grip on my hands loosening. “So, then . . . we’re doing this for real this time?”
JOSH
My words hang there in the space between us, my heart racing while I wait. I keep imagining that I’m missing her answer in the sound of the falling water. But then she starts nodding.
“Yes,” she finally answers.
We stand there holding hands, smiling at each other. I lean down and try to kiss her, but she backs up a couple of steps. I’m confused. She doesn’t let go of my hands and doesn’t stop smiling either.Is she . . . playing with me?She’s changed—it’s not the first time I’ve thought it over the last few months, but it’s the first time I know for sure it’s true.
“No?” I ask her.
She shakes her head.
“No kiss, not even after my big speech?” I joke with her, trying my best to play along.
“You’ll get your kiss, don’t worry,” she says, pulling me by the arm as she moves closer to the fountain. “Come with me.”
She walks me around to the opposite side of the fountain, our footsteps setting off the series of what must be motion-activated streams of water shooting out from the platform and arching over the walkway.
“See that little bench inside?” She points to the metal bench of vines and leaves on the other side of the cascading water. “Let’s go,” she says, holding my hand tighter.
“Go?”
“Yeah, we can make it.”
I look around. There’s no one here and probably no one nearby on a Sunday night when the semester isn’t even in session yet. “I don’t think we’re supposed to—” But before I even finish my sentence, she drops my hand and is racing forward under the tunnel of water. “Wait, what are you doing?” I shout after her.
She outran it, though. She turns and makes this adorablewhoopsound from underneath the apple, still dry. “Come on!” she calls, motioning me forward with her hands.
I laugh to myself because I’m going to have to do this now.
