Page 50 of The Way I Am Now
Parker says, “You’re destroying the planet with these—you know that, right?”
Dominic doesn’t skip a beat. “No, the energy companies and big-ass corporations are destroying the planet. I am being thoughtful and making our hard-earned dinner a little more civilized.”
Josh scoots over on the wicker love seat, making room for me to sit down next to him. “You’ll get used to their bickering,” he says, smiling as he meets my eyes. It feels like the first time he’s even looked at me all day.
“No, it’s nice,” I say. And it is. My house has felt so dead these past months, with no one talking to each other. No one joking around. No one laughing. “This whole place is nice,” I add, taking in this little patch of space on the roof, filled with mismatched outdoor furniture, a patio table and chairs, potted plants.
With the sun finally retreating behind the taller buildings in the distance, a comfortable quiet washes over us as we sit with our slices of pizza. Until Dominic sees me trying to blot my oily fingers on a clean spot on my grease-stained paper plate.
“Oh shit, forgot . . .” He pulls a wad of napkins he’d had bunched up in his pocket and hands me one. ”Here you go.”
“More paper products?” Parker shouts through her last bite.
“Well, you can just use your pants as a napkin if you prefer!”
Parker holds both hands up in the air and then brings them down against her thighs, smearing them all over her jeans. Dominic stands abruptly, commanding everyone’s attention, holds up one finger like he’s about to launch into some kind of serious monologue, but then his only response is “Ew.”
I can’t help but laugh, even though I’m not entirely sure how much they’re joking with each other. Next to me Josh exhales a short snicker but restrains himself.
Parker stands up with a satisfied grin on her face. “All right, kids. I’m gonna try to get in a swim before it gets too late.”
“And I have a hot date I need to get ready for,” Dominic says. “And by hot date, I mean a video call in my room.” My confusion must show on my face because he continues. “Me and Luke—you know him, I think, Lucas Ramirez from school?”
“Oh yeah,” I say. “He was a year ahead of me.”
“We’re doing the long-distance thing for now. Trying to convince him to come out here like you did, but—” He stops talking suddenly, and Josh sort of squirms next to me. “Well, I mean, not that it’s the same thing. I’m not saying you came here just to be with—”
“Oh-kay,” Josh interrupts. “Don’t wanna be late, do you?”
Parker puts both of her hands on Dominic’s back, steering him toward the door. “We’re leaving, but you two enjoy this totally unromantic sunset. Later, roomie.”
“Wow,” Josh breathes as they clamor for the door, their laughter echoing after it closes. “I’m sorry about them. They’re being weird and immature.”
“They’re fine.” What I really want to say is he’s the one who’s being weird and immature. “I like them.”
I set my paper plate on top of the empty pizza box and lean back into the cushions, feeling all the tension in my muscles coming to the surface. But the view is beautiful as the light hits the buildings that make up the small city of the university and then a landscape of rolling green hills just beyond. So much nicer than the flat monotony of back home.
The breeze flows over us and rattles the leaves of the nearby trees, cooling my hot skin and sweat of the day. This would be the perfect moment for him to kiss me, talk to me, do literally anything to me.
JOSH
I’ve been waiting to be alone with her all day, trying so hard to play it cool and not force anything or make it awkward, but now we’re finally here and I’m not sure what to do.
“Well,” Eden says. “She wasn’t wrong about the sunset.”
I turn to look at her, how she’s watching the sky, the way it’s casting this golden creamsicle light over her, but the only thing I can think of as a response is “Yeah.”
She sighs and leans back, bringing her legs up onto the seat and crossing them beneath her. Turning her head from side to side, she sits up straight, then curves her back and starts kneading her shoulders with her hands. “God, I’m really out of shape,” she says with a small laugh.
There’s nothing I can think to say about her shape that will not incriminate me in some way, so I just sit here, trying not to look at her.
“I guess I’m not used to all the lifting and carrying,” she continues, rolling her shoulders forward and back.
“Oh, right,” I manage.
“Josh?”
When I look up, she’s stopped moving around and is now staring at me. “Are you okay?”
