Page 42 of Fade into You
I stand up and watch a dozen or so others follow after Dawn onto the rink. I’ll go around just once, I tell myself. Warm up while Kayla’s deciding on two acceptable skates to make a pair out of all the equally old and smelly ones available to her. I step down onto the polished, shiny wooden floor and I wobble a bit. But a few steps in, the strides just glide one into the next, nearly effortless. And as I round that first corner, I don’t care about who might be watching. I don’t care what the song is or if I look stupid. I’m gaining speed and the air is flowing through me, cooling me off as I’m heating up. And muscle memory is really a thing, because after two times around I feel like it was only yesterday when I was last here.
I feel myself smiling, arms lifting to my sides as if I’m going to take off, just float away. I’m gaining speed, I know, only because of how I’m passing everyone by, but it feels like I’m moving at the perfect pace. My legs feel strong.Ifeel strong, my hair flying behind me, laughing for no reason. Weightless.
The song changes and the mirror ball begins to spin, flashing its million tiny reflections everywhere, all at once. I try, fruitlessly, to brush my hair behind my shoulders and straighten my shirt, looking down for a moment—a mistake my dad always warned me about.If you look down, that’s where you’ll go: down,he always told me.
I look up quickly and regain the footing I barely noticed Iwas losing. And just as I’m rounding the far end of the rink, I see Kayla and Dade and Jessa, standing at the rental counter. Kayla and Dade are watching each other, but Jessa is watching me, elbow perched on the countertop, leaning her weight to the side.
I wave to them—to her, really, since she’s the only one looking. But in my periphery, I see Dawn double back, crossing the center of the rink and going against the flow, weaving between bodies to get back to the counter. And so I push forward, harder, faster, to make it around once more, and when I reach the edge of the rink I step up, arriving just after Dawn. Kayla is still complaining about the state of the skates as I slam into the carpeted counter, landing next to Jessa on the outskirts of the Dade-La orbit.
Sweating, panting, but I’m here. I’m here for my friend. Even if she doesn’t know it. I’m here. “Hey,” I say, breathless. “You guys made it.”
Jessa’s smiling as she looks up at my face. And then down to my feet. She’s not checking me out—it’s the skates, the height they’re giving me. “Hi,” she finally answers. “Yes. We’re here. And so is…” She tips her head in the direction of Dawn, who’s is smiling at Dade, all coy and flirty as she leans her torso onto the counter, making sure he has prime viewing down the front of her shirt.
“It’s been a while,” Dawn coos. “Where you been?”
“Oh. Yeah. Huh,” he laughs, awkwardly looking down at his hand as Kayla interlaces her fingers with his. “You know…”
I look to Kayla—if I squint, I’d swear I can almost see steam coming from her ears. She’s definitely picking up on the vibe. “Yeah, well you know,” Kayla takes over, a bite to her voice. “He’sbeen spending time with his girlfriend all summer.” She looks up at Dade now. “Right?”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “Right.” But I see the way his jaw clenches, his smile too tight.
Jessa bites her bottom lip, fighting the smile that’s forming on her mouth. I give her a tiny nudge so she looks at me. I nod and she nods back.It’s working,we silently tell each other.
“What size?” Dawn is asking Jessa, so I nudge her arm again.
“Skates,” I whisper.
“Oh. Uh, size seven,” she answers.
Dawn waves her arm with a flourish along the counter, where five pairs of grubby sevens are sitting in a row. “Take your pick. Though none of these seem to be good enough.”
Jessa reaches out and grabs the two skates closest to her.
Then Kayla does the same, adding an eye roll, as she turns away from the counter.
Dade doesn’t say anything as he goes to one of the closest open benches and starts putting on the Rollerblades he had tucked under his arm. Jessa sits next to him and follows suit, but then she looks up and sees the way Kayla is standing in front of him, hand on hip. Pissed.
Jessa picks up her Doc Martens and stands up, one foot in only a sock and the other in an unlaced skate. Dade doesn’t notice anything until Jessa swats his shoulder and his head snaps up. Jessa hitches her chin in Kayla’s direction and hobbles over to the next bench, where I join her. We both overhear when Kayla says to Dade, “So, what the hell was that about?”
“What?” he mumbles.
“Who was that girl?”
“Who?”
“Oh, Dade,” Jessa whispers, shaking her head while lacing up her second skate.
Jessa has trouble standing up from the bench, and I shoot my arm out to catch her before she tips over completely. “Careful,” I tell her as I slowly let go. We stand there for a few seconds, waiting, but Kayla and Dade are deep in muffled conversation, heads close together, words no longer audible. I place myself in Kayla’s line of sight and wave my arms, trying to get her attention—she’s looking down at her lap while Dade talks, placing his hand on her arm. She finally looks up. I point and tilt my hands to the ceiling and mouth,Do you need me? Are you okay?
She shakes her head and waves me away.
Are you sure?
Dade looks over his shoulder, his eyes set on me first, then Jessa. He’s looking at her when he snaps, “We’re good here. You don’t have to just stand there waiting for us.”
I have a feeling he would’ve really liked to have barked atmelike that, but he aimed it at Jessa instead. I want to yell at him,Don’t talk to her like that!
But what I say out loud is, “Kayla, you want me to wait?”
