Page 29 of Introducing Mrs. Collins
‘Character-building?’ offered Charlotte.
He smiled with gratitude. ‘Yes,’ he affirmed, with a wry grin, ‘character-building.’
Charlotte looked around the large, ornate room. ‘This is a grand place to convalesce. How is it you are here and not at your family home?’
‘This is by far the better option – the only one, really – so I am grateful to Lady Catherine for taking me in; she does me a great service. Rosings is an easy distance from the port – they brought me to Dover – whereas Tolbrooke Hall is exceedingly far north; I would not have withstood the journey.’
‘Ah, I see. A shame for you, though, not to be at home.’
He hesitated before replying, then shook his head. ‘Myhomeis not… Tolbrooke is not as it should be. It was never a grand house, nothing like this.’ He gestured at the majestic room around him. ‘But as things are now, I am not even convinced of it having the fires lit, nor would I expect an entirely warm welcome.’
Charlotte was intrigued. ‘Why not?’
‘My brother and I are not on friendly terms.’ Charlotte frowned, inviting him to elaborate. ‘I blame him for what has happened to Tolbrooke, and he knows it. It may be his now, but I remember how cherished it was while my mother lived: the care she took of it, the pride she had for it. He has run roughshod over her legacy, gambling away much of what was needed to maintain the house, and it is now in a terrible state. His wife and children suffer forthe earl’sitinerant habits.’
His lips curled in disgust as he spoke of his brother, and Charlotte was shocked to hear him being so damning; this darkness in him was a revelation.
Seeing her reaction, he adopted a more cheerful tone. ‘Staying there would be a more humbling existence, certainly. On the other hand, it might urge me to hasten my recovery, simply to be able to leave.’ He tried to make a joke, but the bitterness beneath it was evident.
In other circumstances, Charlotte would have asked many more questions, but she could hear his desire to move on and acquiesced. ‘Then it is well that you are here,’ she said, smiling at him.
After a moment’s silence, as Fitzwilliam looked absorbed in his own thoughts, Charlotte dared press him a little further on thecause of his abstraction. ‘Do you want to tell me about your time in Spain?’
He shook his head. ‘I think I will not speak of it today. I am glad to see you, and if I begin to open my mind to that, we will not… I would be glad not to think of it for a while.’
‘Of course. But tell me this – is there anything I can bring you that will make you more comfortable? I can see Lady Catherine has the advantage of me in most things, but is there any way that I may help? That is why I am here after all – to be of service.’
‘Oh. Yes, of course. But I hope you come here as a friend also, not just to fulfil a duty?’
‘Yes. As a friend, of course.’
He considered her shrewdly. ‘You look very well, Mrs Collins. I mean, you look in good health.’
‘I thank you, sir,’ she replied guardedly. If she were truly honest with herself, Charlotte did feel something for Colonel Fitzwilliam; that instinctive attraction she felt towards him, her interest in him, had not disappeared, in the wake of her pregnancy or his injury. However, she felt less disquieted by it now, because she felt more sure of her own ability to ignore it, given her new circumstances. She only hoped that he would do the same.
He looked down pensively and seemed to be considering what next to say. Charlotte was nervous of what his speech might contain. When he spoke, his words set off an alarm in her.
‘When last we met, I began to tell you—’
But she would not let him finish. ‘I have some news of my own,’ she blurted out, and found herself saying. ‘My family is soon to grow.’
A breath escaped him and for a moment, as he gazed at her, his eyes betrayed a thousand varying, complicated reactions. And then he blinked, and his eyes looked only kind. Certainly, he had been a little taken aback, not least because such things were not often spoken of between men and women, but then the two ofthem had always been more direct with one another than was quite proper.
The slight frown had disappeared, and he smiled warmly, if perhaps a little sadly. ‘Mrs Collins, that is wonderful news. You are happy?’
She read in his look a genuine enquiry, and trying to reassure him with her own expression, she answered with equal sincerity, ‘I am, Colonel. I am very happy in this.’ She said it firmly, deliberately.
He nodded and was quiet, as if accepting a truth he could not argue with. He had weathered the blow quickly, for her sake. ‘I am so glad for you. It already suits you. Mr Collins must be delighted?’
‘He is. In fact, I must take my leave, to be back for supper with him.’
‘Of course, of course. But my aunt has not returned yet.’
He looked anxiously at the door, unsure of the etiquette. Charlotte thought he seemed a little child-like, if truth be told. Here was this brave, injured officer, who had seen foreign lands and led men into battle, but who was now like a lost boy in his aunt’s care.
‘I’m sure she will forgive me. Would you please pass on my regards?’
‘I will. I am only sorry I cannot stand to see you out.’
