Page 38 of Introducing Mrs. Collins
Charlotte looked at him quizzically. ‘A particular mantelpiece?’
‘Not any particular style, but large enough that it might hold a vase or two. The picture I have is me standing at the mantelpiece, resting my glass on it and stoking the fire.’
‘Is the mantelpiece in a study or a drawing room, or neither?’
‘It is in a drawing room.’
‘So, there is a fireguard, perhaps, and a rug?’
‘Of course – a large rug, a little worn at the edges from use.’
‘What colour are the walls of this room?’
He smiled slowly, realising they were playing a game. He had mentioned his boredom, and she had risen to the challenge. He played along. ‘It is blue. Light blue.’
She frowned.
Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled. ‘No?’
‘I do not think it is light blue. Sage green, perhaps?’
‘Yes,’ he said, accepting it in a serious manner. ‘It is a sage-green room.’
‘And this room is in a house? A large house?’
‘Not too large.’
‘What else would you have?’
‘Grounds where I may ride for miles.’
‘Large grounds. Stables and large grounds, but only a modest house?’ she said sarcastically.
‘You mock me?’
‘Only a little,’ replied Charlotte, smiling at him. ‘They are your choices.’
‘They are indeed! And this game was your idea. But I shall finish: I would have a soft bed, a fountain in the gardens, and… chickens.’
‘Chickens?’
‘Chickens,’ he confirmed.
‘So, a home then? You wish for a home.’
His eyes glazed a little. ‘Yes. I suppose I do.’
Charlotte paused, considering this, then said gently, ‘There is nowhere you would call home at present?’
He shook his head. ‘I have had nowhere to call home for most of my life. I left my father’s house at twelve. A few terms at Eton – I did not excel.’ He grinned self-effacingly here. ‘And then I joined the army as an ensign at sixteen. I have lived in barracksor in quarters for nearly eighteen years. When on leave, I have visited friends’ homes and stayed with family. I have been up to Tolbrooke over the years, of course, but that is my brother’s home now, not mine. I have spent months walking, marching, from one unknown place to another, and what greets you at your destination is more unfamiliar than the last. When they brought me back this time, on a stretcher, they told me they would send me “home”. But I did not know where that would be. I had nowhere to picture in my head.’
Charlotte, after a moment, tentatively asked, ‘Could you not take a house?’
‘No.’ The colonel gave a bitter laugh at this. ‘It is only recently that I have had the means, but while the war continues, it would be a wasted venture. Why hold a house that would sit empty all year long and go to ruin? Besides, I still owe some debt for one of my commissions, so it is unwise altogether in my current state.’
Charlotte nodded. ‘But if your life were your own—’
‘Is my life not my own?’ he interrupted.
