Page 4 of Introducing Mrs. Collins
Charlotte walked quickly out of the house, avoiding any other Bennet, and made her way towards home.
Once out of sight, she bent in two, stumbling and sobbing. She thought the sorrow would overwhelm her. She felt more let down by Elizabeth than her heart could endure; she felt tangible sharp pains in her chest. She had never been subjected to such an outpouring of disdain. And from the person she esteemed most in the world! She had read pity and disgust on her friend’s face and had been made to feel foolish and small. Of the faults she knewothers levelled at her,foolishhad never been one. Plain, certainly, a little stiff, but not foolish. Foolish like Mr Collins… And now, she had to start a new life with him, without a friend.
All morning, she had stood firm, but now she felt the ground go from beneath her. She stumbled home unsteadily and ran upstairs. She pulled her shoes off and threw them in the corner, tore off her jacket, loosened her stays and got into bed. So much had changed in so short a time.
‘Was that you, Charlotte?’ she heard her mother call from downstairs. ‘Is all well?’
‘Yes, Mother,’ she called back in a reassuring tone, while pulling the covers up to her chin. ‘All is well.’
2nd December 1811
My dearest and most precious lady, the keeper of my heart, Charlotte,
The very name now makes my heart sing – I know not what hymn, my dearest, perhaps even a Wesleyan anthem, but certainly a song of praise and of thanks, and one approved by God and by your father. I knew in my heart (though not immediately in my head) as soon as I met you that you must be intended for the place in which you have found yourself – by my side. I believe it is not only God’s intention for us to wed but also mine.
Your first thoughts upon reading this must surely be to wonder how the news of our forthcoming nuptials has landed upon the auspicious ears of my esteemed patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Allow me to put you out of suspense, my dearest one, without even a momentary hesitation – without even the suggestion of delay.
Before I impart her reaction, let me tell you that she was eager to know my choice and indeed asked about the subject even before I had raised it myself; such is her generosity of spirit. When I first described you, the conversation went thusly:
‘Who is her father?’ was her first excellent question, to which I replied simply, ‘Sir William Lucas of Lucas Lodge, my lady.’
‘Ah. Very well then,’ she replied.
Such vivacity of response is a great honour to you, my dear Charlotte, and when she heard that we were to marry forthwith, returning to Hunsford immediately, her delight was hard to surpass: ‘You may both visit me within the month of your return’ – an utterance that brings me only slightly less joy than your acceptance to be mine. Lady Catherine has such flair when it comes to her calendar.
To think of you at the altar before long is beyond delightful, but I am perhaps even more enthused to imagine that which must come next.I refer not to the necessary act that must take place within a marriage, which I should not draw your attention to so soon, but which I have now already put to ink upon the page, so I shall let it be. But I should be at pains to mention that the prospect of that act brings me no fear or foreboding. I am happy, and indeed willing, to fulfil the role bestowed upon me as your husband. However, the future thoughts I referred to above are not of that act, which I now regret the repeated mention of – but in fact, they are of you in my home – our home – settled and happy.
To think of you at Hunsford Parsonage brings me great joy. I have wanted little in life but the peace and security of a life of duty, a pleasant enough position in society, friendship enough to be visited from time to time, and most importantly perhaps, the love of a wife and a family. (The patronage of Lady Catherine is an addition to my joy I never even knew to wish for.) You are the key to my happiness, Charlotte; I hope I can be the key to yours. I shall endeavour to be – until death parts us.
I do so wish us joy, Charlotte. I feel sure we must deserve it – two fine, goodly, modest people, embarking on a life in Christ, and in Kent.
Your humble servant,
William Collins
3rd December 1811
Dear Mr Bennet,
I could not settle until writing to thank you most humbly for your hospitality in these past weeks. So much has happened in a very short time that I would think it had been a year! (Had I not the dates written down in front of me, which I have.) In fact, as I left, I overheard your youngest daughter remarking that it felt like a year since I had arrived! That shows how in accord I have been with your family.
Your kindness in permitting me to stay and in allowing me to partake in a variety of social occasions with you and your daughters shows a great generosity of spirit. While I admit that there were advantages for you in having a man of my position join you in such company, I assure you that it was I who felt fortunate, even more than you may have.
As for myself, I am delighted to tell you that I have recently found the very greatest felicity – and only a mile from your own door! I am engaged to Miss Lucas of Lucas Lodge. She has made me the happiest of men, and I hope that she will name the day as soon as possible. We shall be married from Meryton, and it is my wish, as well as hers, that you and your family might attend.
I must touch briefly on the subject of the entail. I will not be ponderous. There is no reason for me to be explicit about something that is already well known – that being the fact that, upon your death, I shall inherit the estate of Longbourn in its entirety, and your wife and daughters will be left with nothing, perhaps destitute. I have no wish to speak of it. And yet I must, only to explain that my sole purpose in proposing marriage to one of your daughters was in kindness and selfless Christian charity – an attempt to rescue them from the future that was before them. I now believe that Elizabeth did me a great service by refusing me. She saw very well that I was making too large a sacrificein asking for her hand. I hope that, in the future, she may receive a proposal from a more willing gentleman – as distant a hope as that may seem to you and certainly does to me.
However, I hope that your wife and your daughters will feel compensated for their future loss in the knowledge that their home will now fall to such a dear family friend as Miss Lucas. It must give your wife great comfort to know that such an intimate acquaintance, who has known the house so well for many years – and is, after all, local – will have the honour of being its mistress. That thought – of your comfort – guided me in my choice of wife, and be assured I mentioned it in my proposal to her.
I need not tell you, sir, how happy my current circumstance makes me. You married for love, one presumes, and so you must know how much joy springs forth from such a union. You have only known Miss Lucas as a life-long friend of your daughter, whereas I, in a week, have the measure of her completely. She is the perfect match for me: her temperament is calm, her voice is melodic, and her words are easy to understand. I have found myself a diamond in the rough of Hertfordshire.
I am grateful indeed to you for the invitation of a further visit, and I will gladly oblige. I will return in a fortnight to stay at Longbourn. I will spend the chief of my days at Lucas Lodge, becoming better acquainted with my excellent new relations, but I will happily honour the Bennet family with my company in the early mornings.
Until then, I wish you and your family every happiness that can justly be afforded to them.
Your humble servant,
William Collins
