Page 17 of A Heart of Crimson Flames
I collapsed onto the carpet, sobbing, my last vestiges of strength giving in. I had been holding out hope, but now I had none. Part of me wished both of us had been taken in that battle in Valta, that my soul had been snatched up along with hers, without ever knowing this kind of heartbreak. There was never meant to be a world where she didn’t love me, when I didn’t feel safe in her arms. I knew it as certain as I knew the sun in the sky, me and her were always meant to be together.
The devastation was so vast I couldn’t summon the energy to get up and into the bed. I fell asleep in a puddle of moonlight on the lush carpet.
When I awoke in the hours before dawn, I was in bed. I blinked as sleep clouded the realization. When I lifted onto myelbows to survey the dark corners of the room, I swore I saw Maez’s shadow. I knew her shape better than I knew my own. I grabbed the candle flickering beside my bed and held it aloft, but when the light touched the shadows, it was only a lumpy curtain. My mind was playing tricks on me.
I lay back down, unable to summon the will to care about anything other than this utter hollowness inside. I pulled the sheets over my head and cried myself back to sleep.
Sadie
WE HUDDLED IN THE MAIN LIBRARY, PULLING BOOK AFTERbook from the shelves. The temple of knowledge was actually a labyrinth of several buildings, some little more than underground hovels, others beautiful silver and gold temples dotting through the forest. Some areas were delineated by genre and theme; others were haphazardly arranged. We encountered piles of tomes everywhere—in doorways, in antechambers, even built into the walls of an underground bathhouse. The wilderness had reclaimed this place, but I could imagine humans from long ago darting between the many dwellings.
At first, it felt like a fool’s errand trying to find the secret songs amongst a city of books. But then we found it: an unassuming little outbuilding barely larger than a closet with a shelf half shifted off the wall. Perhaps the secret passageway was left open in haste, perhaps the wind blew the shelves covering the doorway askew, but once we followed the spiraling stairwell underground, we found the main library. A catacomb filled with tomes, the place had been abandoned to a thick layer of dust and musty air. At the very top of the walls, holes of mounded earth revealed overgrown windows that allowed light to filter in from aboveground.
When we’d entered, there was a collective knowing, something like magic in the sense of rightness: this was the place. From there, we set to work, hunting amongst the vast space for the secret songs foretold to be hidden here.
The Songkeepers split into two groups—half canvassing the library and pulling books with any mention of music and the other half checking those books, sorting the magical from the ordinary. When I carried my latest pile of books down the narrow aisle, I was perturbed to find Navin had abandoned his post and Kian had taken his place checking over the dusty titles.
I dropped the books on the table with a heavythunk. “Here.” Folding my arms, I waited for his assessment.
Within a heartbeat, Kian passed the two books back to me. “These are children’s rhymes,” he said tightly.
I rolled my eyes at him. “If it has musical notes in it, I’m pulling it.” I snatched the books and wandered down the stacks to return them.
So much of the Songkeepers’ legends of monsters was hidden amongst these old songs. It wasn’t as robust or well-kept as the library at the Songkeepers’ refuge, but still, Kian had a whole stack beside him that he and his comrades were poring over.
Asha kept diligent notes of each of the songs they thought would be powerful enough to try on Haestas. But in the end, we all knew we’d need to go hunting for some new monsters—ones we needed to see if they could control with the power of song.
As I shelved the books, Svenja appeared beside me. “You look grumpier than usual, little storm cloud.”
I glowered back at her, making her laugh as she returned another three books to the dusty shelves. A window had blown out on this side of the library, probably during a storm, and the pages were damp and faded, the ground caked in mud and pine needles.
“I just want to murder Kian,” I replied. “Nothing out of the normal.”
Svenja chuckled. “He does have a sort of slappable disposition, doesn’t he?”
“I was thinking of using something a little sharper than my palm.”
Her laughter faded into something more contemplative. “I like what you do to Navin.”
I quirked a brow at her. “That is a very odd thing to say. Have you been spying on us in the bedroom?”
She placed her hand on her belly and laughed louder. “Not like that,” she said through fits of laughter. “I mean, he used to be this forlorn, wistful thing. He was dyed the hue of melancholy.”
“What a very musician-like way to describe it.”
She looked at me sideways. “It’s a lyric from a popular Valtan song? ‘Vanek Grisada’?” I shook my head. “I’ll play it for you tonight,” she said, waving off the thought. “Anyway, that’s what Navin always reminded me of, but not anymore. He seems steadier, happier, than I’ve ever seen him before.”
A burst of pride bloomed in me at the thought, but I was loathe to say it. “The happiest he’s ever been, trying to find and control monsters...”
“Yeah,” Svenja said tentatively, brushing a stray curl over her shoulder. “He must be really happy to be this calm amongst all of this chaos and uncertainty.” She wrung her hands together, moving her weight side to side.
“You seem about as confident in this plan as me,” I muttered.
“All I can think about is all the ways this could go wrong,” she said, lowering her voice as she peered down the row to where the others gathered. She spoke as if it was sacrilege to question the power of the songs. “Once we find these songs, we’re going hunting for monsters.Monsters. I’m used to singing healing songs, songs for protection and wellness and sleep, not luring monsters through the forests like a siren. Don’t you think that’s crazy?”
“I do,” I confessed. “But after all that I’ve seen these past few weeks, I don’t think it’s impossible, either.”
I felt the confidence in me growing at Svenja’s doubt, a subconscious reaction as if I knew we couldn’t all be afraid, so let it be her turn.
