Page 25 of A Heart of Crimson Flames
“Oh,” I said. “Right. Yes. That please.” My words were choppy and slow. This new person put me on unsteady footing. I never knew what to expect from her. She was both kind and cold in equal measure, surprising me with offerings and then taking them away just as swiftly. “Calla will be worrying sick about me, probably hatching some half-cocked plan to spring me out of the palace of Highwick.” Maez nodded but didn’t comment. “Thank you for the paper.” I was rambling now, desperate to keep her here, to figure this thing out. “I still don’t understand how your magic works.”
“Nor I.” I was surprised Maez offered me that much. She seemed so closed off to sharing any of her inner thoughts. “It is not the bottomless well it seems. There are lesser and greater feats; some like transporting myself across the realm require a lot of power. Afterward, I’m left feeling depleted.”
I inclined my head. It was a surprising act of vulnerability to share that with me. I wondered if she trusted me to keep that secret or if she simply didn’t care who knew.
“And how do you refill that well of power?” I asked. Faeries’ magic was fueled through dying wishes, Wolves’ power came from the moon, and the Songkeepers’ magic was fueled by song. What did sorcerers need to keep their massive amounts of power?
Maez looked up at me from under heavy brows, her eyes telling me I should already know the answer. “Death,” she said, as if it was as simple as listing an ingredient in a recipe.
Death.
That was what fueled her magic. How many people would she have to kill to conjure quill and paper and fresh blueberries? How many lives would need to be taken? How long until her lust for killing became an addiction like it had for every sorcerer past? And the worst question of all, the one that plagued me from the moment I heard Nero tell of Maez’s fate: Would I be strong enough to stop her? Or would I stay even as she contorted herself into darkness just to cling to the shadow of who she once was?
We stood there for so long, my mind spinning with heartbreak and fear. I thought I had been trained for everything, but nothing could prepare me for this. Maez’s eyes dipped back to the serving tray in my hands, and I realized I was still holding the platter like a fool.
“You made muffins,” Maez said, her tone so steely, I couldn’t tell if she was mocking me or amused or bored.
“I did.” My voice was more breathless than I’d intended.Come on, Briar. I was trained to deal with all manner of people. But I was never trained for this—for opening my heart up completely to someone and then forcing myself to close it again. “Would you like one?” I asked, holding the tray higher. When Maez didn’t move, I lowered it back down, deflated. “Do you even need to eat?”
Maez’s shoulders rose and fell in a small huff. “Do I need to eat?” she asked, pursing her lips. “I suppose I do not. I don’t think I need anything at all anymore.” Her smile stretched wider as mine fell.
She took a step forward and then another, and it took everything in me not to back away this time. Power radiated off her like a living thing and my Wolf senses wanted to shift to protect myself. Maez’s eyes flickered at the way my shoulders bunched at her proximity, like a raising of my hackles. It was such a small look in her eyes that anyone but her mate wouldn’t see it, but I knew that flicker of mischief, knew it so well that the slightest widening of her pupils told me multitudes.
Maez reached out and took a muffin from the tray.
“I thought you didn’t need to eat?” I asked.
She tilted her head. “I still have desires, Briar,” she said. “Even if I don’tneedto satisfy them.”
My eyes were transfixed on her lips as she opened her mouth and took a bite.
Her eyes closed for a second as if relishing the taste and my throat bobbed as she licked the crumbs from her lips. We’d been parted for so long before I was taken, before she becamea sorceress. If I had thought the last time we made love would truly be the last...
When Maez’s eyes opened again, they flickered in emerald, her stare finding mine instantly. “I’d ask what you’re thinking about, Princess,” she murmured. “But I think we both know the answer to that.”
I swallowed thickly, ears tingling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No?” Maez taunted. “Shame. I think you and I would both enjoy seeing where that line of thinking took us.”
My legs trembled at the rumble in her voice, my body yearning for her touch. But the magic that swirled around her zapped the air. The arm’s length with which she held me... no, I couldn’t be with this version of her. I needed the old Maez. I needed my mate back.
Maez seemed to notice the transformation of my lust to sorrow, but she didn’t comfort me like she used to do. Instead, she grabbed a second muffin off the tray, turned, and left without so much as a parting word, leaving me with a strange mixture of confusion and longing. An unwelcome question tumbled through my mind:
What would it be like to be with a sorceress?
Sadie
THE TASTE OF INK FILLED MY MOUTH AS IF I’D LICKED EACH OFthese bloody pages. So many books, in so many languages, some that didn’t even exist anymore.
We hunted for any mention of the songs hidden amongst the shelves. Determined to turn over every page of every book in the entire library, we had yet to find anything of particular use. There were lots of vague mentions of the magic of song, poetic enough that you wouldn’t know it meant anything if you weren’t a part of the secret sect. Songs of love and of healing, of family and friendship—all the usual themes one would find in music. But nothing of monsters or great power. No mention of the sacred songs nor the word “eternal.” I now knew too much about things I never wished to learn.
Curse this temple, I never wanted knowledge again.
At least it was almost over—we were on the very last shelf. But we had yet to find what we were looking for, and if we didn’t succeed here, we’d have to seek out other refuges in other kingdoms—more treacherous journeys that might be just as fruitless. I heard the telltale swoop of Haestas’s wings overhead. Maybe we could just train her in tactical warfare and leave all this monster-training business behind us. If she could be trained to hunt goats and deer for us, surely she could learn tohunt Silver Wolves. I didn’t want to spend another month in the wagon, crammed to the hilt with Songkeepers. And if I was being truly honest with myself, I didn’t want to leave Damrienn, either.
The smell of the pine forests, the birdsong, the constellations overhead... I missed this place, even if I didn’t particularly miss the pack that resided within its borders. No matter how I tried to reconcile it, Damrienn still felt like home. The floating mountains of Upper Valta, the snowfields of Taigos, the golden trees of Olmdere... Now that I’d seen every court, I knew this was still the one I longed for.
“Nothing,” Asha declared, her voice squeaking despite her foul mood. She slammed the book shut and shelved it, taking a bracing sigh before grabbing the next.
