Page 55 of Not Today, Satan
“That’s just it.” I dig the mud out from under my ring fingernail with my thumb and flick it onto the floor. “Father’s adamant I take his place. But it doesn’t feel right. Like it’s not who I’m meant to be.”
“And whoareyou supposed to be?”
I lift my head and purse my eyebrows. No one’s asked me that before.
I’ve dreamed of places I’d like to visit, but I’ve never imagined life beyond the stone walls of Dominus. And once Father announced my succession to his throne, no one asked if it was what I wanted. Especially not Father.
I swallow, twirling the ruby around my finger. “I don’t know. But it doesn’t call to me like everyone thinks it should. Father’s one of the most powerful beings in the universe, but he’s also the loneliest. He never lets anyone in. Not even me. I don’t want to turn into him, and that’s what I’m afraid will happen when I take his place. It’s already started. The one friend I had down here now avoids me like one of your plagues.”
Nate faces me, his gaze serious. “What about your mom? Is she as terrifying as your dad?”
My throat pinches, and I focus on the sienna horizon blurring around us. “I’ve never met her. Father refuses to talk about her, but I’ve been told stories by other demons. How they met and fell in love. How she betrayed him. And how he had her thrown into the Ignis River for that betrayal.”
“The place that kills demons?”
I nod, my eyes trained on the polished floor.
Nate sucks in a breath. “Your fatherkilledyour mother?”
“So I’ve been told.”
“And I thoughtmylife was messed up.” Nate places a hand on my knee.
We’re shoulder to shoulder, but I don’t pull away. His presence soothes me, his eyes filled with sadness and something that looks like kindness. I can’t be sure. No one’s looked at me that way before.
I hold my breath as I pluck the photo of my mother from the bodice of my dress.
Beyond Father and me, no one knows about her yet, not even Atty. Telling Nate risks him figuring out I’ve been using him instead of rescuing him.
Or maybe he’ll agree to help me because he wants to. Because he knows what it’s like to lose a parent.
With trembling fingers, I hand him the photograph.
XXV.
Nate studies the photo with crinkled brows. “What’s this?”
“I found it in my father’s room. He had a whole album of them.” I drag my fingernails over my thighs and fidget with a hole in my dress.
The boat rocks beneath us in a gentle rhythm as he holds the picture closer to his face. “Is this your mom?”
“I think so.”
“She’s beautiful. She looks like you.” His cheeks redden, but he keeps his eyes on the photo. “Was this taken on Earth?”
My own face heats with his as I peer over his shoulder. “I think so. But you’d know better than me. There’s a name on the back.”
He flips it over and nods. “Los Angeles. I thought the palm trees looked familiar.” His arm freezes midway to handing it back to me, then he shoves it back in front of his face. “Wait, this was taken this year. You just said your mom’s dead.”
I pluck the photo from his fingers and return it to my bodice without looking at him. “I thought she was. Everyone in my life told me so. But then I found this and learned that she’s not only alive, she’s human. That’s why I’m going to Earth. To find her. I need to know why I’m here and she’s not. I need to know if…if I was ever wanted.” A lump crawls up my throat at the last words and I swallow it down, my eyes trained on a patch of mud caked to my dress.
Nate lets out a long breath. “That’s a lot. Have you asked your dad about it?”
A chortle escapes my lips, and I shake my head. “He’d kill me if he knew I found this. Not only that, but I accidentally set fire to the rest of the album. No, he’s not one to sit and talk about feelings.”
Nate turns so he’s cross-legged, his knees pressed into my thigh. “So your plan is to break out of here and track her down? You know Earth is huge, right? Please tell me you at least know her name.”
“Dina. Her first name and this picture are all I have to go on.” I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “I thought you could help me since you’re from Los Angeles. Maybe you have an idea on where to start.”
