Page 79 of Not Today, Satan
Except I can’t stop staring at her.
She looks like her photograph, though it failed to capture how her every movement is graceful and deliberate, how light radiates off her skin, despite the only source of brightness in the room being a small lamp standing in the corner, or how her eyes are liquid gold, like the honey she drips into her tea. For a human, she’s striking.
I haven’t said a word beyond the one syllable back at the park.
Everything I’d planned to say shriveled on my tongue with her appearance. I’d prepared for her anger and rejection. I’d never let myself believe she’d welcome me instead.
She sets the bottle of honey on the table between us, her eyes never leaving my face. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’ve dreamed of this day, but I never believed it would happen.”
Her voice is softer than mine, melodic and soothing.
Everything about her is softer. From how her hair curls over her shoulders to the loose blouse that drapes over her hips, to the casual way she rests in the chair, her mug of tea balanced on her knee. Even her scent is sweet. I’d been overtaken by the calming fragrances of vanilla and almond when we’d embraced.
I, on the other hand, sit rigid against the cushions, my hair a tangled mess, dress tight around my middle, knees and elbows bent at hard angles as I struggle to keep still. And I’ve definitely smelled better than I do after spending a year traversing the elements of Hell.
I’m unsure whether her easy grace missed me genetically or was forced out of me by Father.
“That makes two of us.”
My eyebrows edge up. “You’re not mad I’m here?”
“No, Devica. Far from it. I was devastated when your father took you. I never thought I’d see you again. I was sure he wouldn’t even tell you about me.”
“He didn’t, exactly.” I fiddle with theEarl Greytag hanging down the side of my mug. I’ve never heard of him. He must be good at this tea thing if he’s been promoted to Earl. “In fact, Father told me you were dead. I found photos of you in his room and realized you were still alive and on Earth, but… Wait. He took me? You mean you didn’t send me away when you learned what I am?”
“What you are?” She closes her eyes and steadies her breath. “Oh, Devica. I knew who your father is and where you came from when you were born. And I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to have you here with me. I’m sorry you ever believed differently.”
I swallow the lump in my throat that’s been there since Nate walked away. The room blurs as tears pool in my eyes.
My mother didn’t abandon me. She wanted me.
All this time I thought she was dead, but she was on Earth, wishing I was beside her.
Taking a sip of tea, I flinch as it scorches the tip of my tongue. “I don’t understand. Father comes to Earth to punish humans. How did he fall in love with one?”
“I wasn’t human when we met.”
I nod and blow on my tea as relief sinks me deeper into the couch. All the concern I’d had over being part human wisps out of my body like the steam drifting from my mug. “Were you sentenced to Earth as punishment, then? Father condemns a lot of demons here.”
She presses her lips together. “Not exactly, Devica. I wasn’t a human when I met your father, but I wasn’t a demon, either. I’ve never been to Hell.” She sets down her mug and stands. Turning her back to me, she unbuttons her peach blouse and lowers it.
I gasp as the lamp beside me reveals scars leading from her shoulder blades down each side of her spine. They’re jagged and raised, but I’ve seen patterns like that before. That time I walked in on Father while he was changing. Right before he screamed at me to get out.
“Wings.” My mouth dries, leaving only the numbness on my tongue from the hot tea. “You had wings. But if you’ve never been to Hell, that means you’re—”
“An angel.” She shrugs her blouse over her shoulders and buttons it before dropping into her chair. “Or I was. I lost my wings when I slept with your father. Not that I have any regrets. The result of that union was you.”
I press the mug to my throbbing temple. The couple sips of tea I’ve taken threaten to come back up. I clench my jaw to stop myself from heaving onto the plush beige rug tickling my feet.
Believing she was human was bad enough. But an angel? They’re worse.
A million times worse, according to Father.
He blames them for casting him out of their domain. He said they’re the reason we’re destined to a life of darkness and fire. That if they really did believe in good and forgiveness, they would’ve taken him back after the war.
“Angels are evil, Devica,” he’d warned me when I was a kid. “You can’t trust them. They’ll be kind to your face, then hurt you when you least expect it. There’s no loving an angel.”
I never asked how he knew that. I just trusted him. because I thought he knew everything when I was too small to comprehend how little he actually understood.
