Page 80 of Not Today, Satan
It’s hard to believe the woman in front of me could harm me, but I also never thought Nate could be as cold as the boy who left me alone in the park.
I try to swallow, but my mouth is so dry that all that comes out is a choked cough.
“I still don’t understand,” I say. “How did you two even meet if you’re not a demon?”
“It was a long time ago. I came down to Earth to test humans, and he came up to do the same. We were, of course, disguised to fit in, which deceived us both.”
She leans back in her seat, her eyes focused on the bowl of plastic fruit on the table. “I spotted him in that park where I found you. He didn’t see me right away, which was a good thing, because I couldn’t stop staring. He was so handsome—all dark hair and deep-brown eyes that were almost black. When he finally looked at me and smiled, I nearly passed out. I was still a young angel, your age, and no one had prepared me for how alluring humans were. He introduced himself as Lucas, and I gave him my real name without hesitation. All I wanted was to get to know him better.”
Nate’s face flashes before my eyes, but I blink it away. “Father is nothing if not a charmer. It’s why humans fall so easily for his deceits.”
“Even I was powerless against him.” She runs her finger around the rim of her mug. “We went to dinner and talked for hours, our missions forgotten. I don’t even remember what we discussed, but it wasn’t disclosing who we really were. I think we were both afraid we’d scare the other off, which is probably true. I would’ve run if I’d learned who he was. But he made me laugh. No one had ever made me laugh like that before. Although Paradise is a beautiful place, it’s quite subdued.”
Nate’s voice rings in my ears. Those cheesy jokes. The way his laughter echoed off the stone and prompted my own. I swallow too large a gulp of tea, and it burns as it reaches my chest.
“We went dancing at some nightclub and stayed on the floor until they kicked us out,” she continues. “Then we danced in the street until the moon was replaced by the sun. We found a hotel room and barely left it for weeks.”
Mom drops her head, her cheeks budding pink like the blossoms in the park. “One morning, I woke up and he was gone, as were my wings. They’d been replaced by the baby in my belly—you.”
I slam my mug on the table between us with a bang and narrow my eyes. “He took off after getting you pregnant? Typical.”
“He didn’t know about you. I didn’t, either. I had no idea what was normal in a human body. I thought maybe vomiting six times a day was something they were used to. It wasn’t until my stomach started to grow that I realized what happened.”
She downs the last of her tea and places her mug next to mine. “Here I was, human, abandoned by the man I loved, shunned by my home, and now pregnant. I’d never felt so lost. I prayed to my friends in Paradise, begged them to tell me why this had happened, why I’d lost my wings. But I never received an answer. Almost nine months went by, and then your father returned.”
I sit up and clutch my knees with tightened fists. That’s not like Father. He’s more the type that forgets someone exists the moment they leave the room—or maybe that’s just me. “He came back for you?”
“He did.” Her voice breaks. “But he took one look at my swollen belly and fell to his knees. He confessed who he was and told me he’d awoken during our last night together and saw my wings—I’d weakened my disguise in sleep, I suppose—and panicked when he realized what I was. He’d gone home but hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me. He had no idea you were growing with every day that passed.”
Tears collect in the corners of her eyes, then break over her lashes, her pain still so close to the surface. I place my palm on my chest as she speaks.
She clears her throat and wipes at her damp cheeks. “When he told me who he was, I thought I was going to break in half. Here I’d thought I’d fallen in love with a human, which was offensive enough, but this was worse than I’d imagined. And I was carrying his child! No wonder they’d taken my wings.”
“Had this ever happened before?” I ask. “An angel falling for a demon?”
“Not that I know of. I’ve seen many stories about it, but they’re fiction. Angels and demons, by nature, repel like oil and water. We should never have come together as easily as we did.
“Your father begged me to return home with him, but I couldn’t bear the thought of living in darkness. I’d been born in a world of light, which is why I’ve stayed in California. And I refused to let my child grow up down there. It didn’t matter to me that you had half of him in you. And it doesn’t matter now. Because you have half of me, too. I wanted to raise you here, and I told him I wouldn’t change my mind.”
My heart picks up speed as her words sink in.
I survey the room. The plants in the corner, reveling in the sunlight that peeks through the windows with the dawn. The framed paintings on the wall of angels dancing through the heavens. This could’ve been my home, instead of stone and steel and blood. No wonder I’d never felt comfortable in Dominus.
“Your father was furious,” she continues. “He realized you were more than his child—you were his loophole. A being conceived with his blood that could assume the throne he’d grown to despise. He insisted you belonged with him. But I’d carried you for nine months, and I knew you were meant to stay with me. You kicked when I brought you to the ocean. You rolled over in my belly when we sat in the sun. You were not meant for his world. You were meant for mine. And even though I’d lost my wings, I knew you were a gift. Angels are barren, never meant to carry children of their own. You were a true miracle, conceived for a reason. I was sure of it.”
Her words charge through me like a current as what she’s actually saying sinks in. My stomach once again threatens to toss up the Earl of Grey onto her carpet.
I study her for any signs of betrayal, blood pounding in my ears. If she’s telling the truth, I’m worse than a demon. Worse than a human, even.
I’m an angel.
XXXVIII.
Halfangel.
But it explains why Father pushes me away. Why my wings look like no others I’ve seen. Why I feel the pain of everyone around me, including shadelings. Empathy is a primary angel trait. Father and the other demons lost theirs in the Fall. There are outliers like Diripo and Attero, of course, but they’re the minority, not the norm.
“Your father grew angrier by the minute,” my mother continues. “He threatened to take you. He’s used to getting his way, and my defiance infuriated him. His Earth glamour started to fall away. For the first time, I saw the monster he was, and it terrified me. I told him to leave and never come back. Then the cramping started.”
