Page 98 of Not Today, Satan
“Absolutely.” He curls me into his chest and whispers into my ear. “And you love me, too. It was one of the last things I heard before finding myself in front of Fetus.”
I pull away from him and narrow my eyes. “You heard no such thing. You were delirious.”
“Mmmhmmm.” He smirks. “You keep telling yourself that. And I’ll keep reminding myself of how you said falling for me is like flying.”
My cheeks burn, and I bury my face in his chest. “I can’t believe you heard that.”
“I did. It was the nicest thing anyone’s said about me.” He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on the top of my head. “Anyway, I pieced it all together as I read over Alex’s charts on the bus. He inhaled a lot of smoke and had some pretty badly broken bones. They had him in a medically induced coma but weren’t optimistic. I guess he finally succumbed to his injuries.”
I lean back and gaze up at him. “And then the universe corrected itself. You swapped places. He’s probably in Lot Thirteen as we speak, with a very confused Ferus in front of him.”
“Good luck to Fishsticks. Alex is a handful.” Sadness creeps over his features. “Though I can’t help but feel bad. He was messed up, but he was still family. And I’m only here because he’s not.”
“I saw his soul, and it was revolting, Nate.” I lay my head on his shoulder. “He would’ve done worse things if he’d stayed on that path. The world is definitely a little brighter without him in it. And Hell a little darker. If that’s possible.” I open my palm and stare down at the ring glittering against my skin.
I have no need for this anymore. With Nate and my mom here, I never have to go back. I’ll miss Atty, but Father will move on without me. And Ferus will take as much of my place as he’s allowed.
“Why were you throwing that away?” Nate asks. “Isn’t it your ticket home?”
I turn away and look out over the ocean. “I figured if I still have it, there’s always a chance I’ll go back. That I’ll forever have a piece of Father calling to me, urging me to take his throne—you know, assuming he doesn’t kill me on sight.”
Nate lays his palm over mine. “First of all, no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. Have youmetyou? Devica, you’re the strongest-willed person I know. You broke me out of Hell. Twice—even if the second time was indirectly. If you decide you want to take over for your father, I have no doubt it’ll be because you’re ready, not because you’re wearing this ring. And second, I think you still need to have the choice. You may want to go home someday.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to be like him. Ever.”
“Who said wearing this makes you anything like him?” He runs a finger along my cheek. “You’re not a piece of jewelry, Devica. What you are is within you, in your heart.”
I turn my head and scrutinize him. “Were you talking to my mother? She said the same thing when I tried to cut off my wings.”
“You what? Oh, Dev.” He folds me into his arms. “You aren’t your wings. You aren’t that ruby. You’re flesh and bone and sparkling blood. You’re brave and strong, beautiful and kind—and surprisingly funny, even when you don’t try to be. And you have impeccable taste in men.”
I chuckle softly. “You’re going to make me question that last bit forever, aren’t you?”
“You can count on it.”
I attempt to smile, but it barely makes it to my lips. I hurt Nate. I hurt my mother. That darkness still lingers inside, waiting to burst out at the moment I least expect it.
“I’m scared.” I tilt my head up to meet his eyes. “And confused. I don’t know where I fit in anymore.”
“It’s okay to be scared. And I promise you, most people on Earth never know where they fit in, either. We spend our lives trying to figure it out.”
“Thanks.” I slide the ring back on my finger, its weight settling into me like a second skin. “I’m happy you’re back. I don’t know how you always make me feel better, but you do. Having you here again barely feels real.” I lean back and survey him. “You are real, right?”
“We should probably do one last check to make sure. For science.” He winks, then lowers his head and kisses me, slowly, then with more urgency. The world falls away again as it’s just our bodies on the dock, his lips and tongue mingling with mine. I wrap my arms around him, curling my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck and pressing my hips into his.
When we pull away, he brushes his fingertips over my cheek, his eyes a brighter blue than usual. “Thoughts?”
“Definitely real.” I grin. “And you’re not one of those zombie things? No cravings for brains?”
“Not yet.” He chuckles. “And no clawing my way out of a grave, thank God. I asked your mom if she thinks my body is still buried somewhere, and she said she can’t be sure, but she doesn’t think so. I suppose we could dig it up and find out, but I’d rather let some things remain a mystery.”
He shudders, and I shiver against him. “Agreed.”
Mom’s leaning against her crooked car when we get to the parking lot. My stomach coils as the cut on her face comes into view. She’s cleaned it up but left it unbandaged. It’s not deep, and I heave an internal sigh of relief that it doesn’t look like it will scar, but my insides still tumble knowing that I put it there in the first place.
Nate pats my lower back and steps to the other side of the car as I reach my mom.
I lower my head and focus on the tire I’d left crossing the yellow line. “Hey.”
