Page 77 of American Royals
Sam sighed. “I’m just saying that I’m your best friend, and I had to find out from the tabloids, the same as the rest of the world.”
“You’re also Jeff’s twin sister,” Nina felt the need to point out. “He kept this from you just as much as I did.”
“He and I have already talked about it,” Sam informed her. “About twenty minutes after the article came out.” She didn’t need to say more; the implication was clear. She thought Nina was a bad friend for avoiding her these past few days.
Nina couldn’t hold her tongue any longer. “Sorry I haven’t prioritized your feelings while my life was falling to pieces around me.”
Sam winced at her tone. “Right. It just … hasn’t been the easiest week for me, either. Teddy and Beatrice got engaged. They’re going to announce it at a press conference soon.” She sighed and glanced down. “I really liked him, you know? I still like him. I get that Beatrice has to marry someone, because she’s the future queen, and that her choices are limited. But couldn’t she have chosen someone else?”
Nina stared at her friend. “Seriously?”
“I know, isn’t it messed up?”
“I’m talking about you, Sam! That’s really why you came by?” Nina’s words came out quickly, fueled by an anger that surprised her. “I thought you wanted to talk to me about Jeff, or the fact that most of America apparently hates me. But instead of coming here to support me, you’re actually here because you wanted to vent about Beatrice and Teddy!”
Sam bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I just … needed a friend right now.”
“So do I,” Nina said meaningfully.
Sam’s eyes darted toward the blacked-out window. “The paparazzi will lose interest soon,” she promised, clearly trying to be helpful. “They’ll move on to another story and stop hanging out here. I mean, they’ll still take pictures of you at official events, but you’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to ‘get used to it’!” Nina clawed angrily at her bedspread, her fists closing around the printed fabric. “I just want things to go back to normal!”
“Normal meaning a world where you’ve conveniently erased me from the story of your life?” Sam nodded toward the photos on the wall.
Nina had been curious how long it would take Sam to ask about those.
“It’s just—no one at school knows I’m friends with you. It seemed easier not to tell everyone. Less complicated,” Nina said quickly, wondering why she felt the need to explain herself to Sam, anyway.
The princess flinched at her words. “I didn’t realize I was a complication.”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Nina insisted, though her gaze followed Sam’s toward the collage.
What if this was an accurate depiction of Nina’s life? What if her mom had never interviewed for the chamberlain job, if Nina and Sam had never become such good friends? How would Nina’s life be different—or, more importantly, how would Nina be different?
Even as a child, Nina had instinctively known that she had to give way to Sam. Not necessarily because she was royal, though that was certainly part of it. But Sam had enough personality for two people—which always made Nina feel like she needed to back down a bit, to compensate. Sam was unpredictable and irrepressible and laughing and mischievous. She had always been the one to set their plans, come up with their schemes. And she expected Nina to follow her lead without question.
Nina thought of all the times she had quietly done whatever Sam wanted, without even stopping to consider what she might want. When they went shopping for new backpacks in fifth grade, Sam had demanded the bright blue one, even though she knew blue was Nina’s favorite color. Last year when they got their tattoos together, Sam had chosen the design, and only then had asked Nina whether she liked it. She begged Nina to come to events where she wouldn’t know many people, then ditched her to make out with some new guy in a closet.
Come to think of it, Sam was an unreliable and thoughtless friend. Selfish, even.
“Sam,” she said quietly. “It hasn’t always been easy, being your best friend.”
“Why?” Sam demanded, instantly on the defensive.
“Because. A friendship is supposed to be equal, and absolutely nothing about our friendship has ever been equal.” Nina let out a breath. “I know you never consciously tried to make me feel inferior. But traveling on all these vacations that your family pays for, driving your car around the capital because my parents wouldn’t buy me one, going to galas in your cast-off dresses, where everyone just looks right through me like I’m not even there. The only thing worse than feeling invisible is feeling like your charity case.”
She met Sam’s gaze. “It’s easier with the friends I’ve made at college. We’re all taking the same classes and going to the same parties. We’re just … equals.”
Sam’s face was dazed, almost incredulous, but beneath it Nina saw an unmistakable hurt. “I didn’t realize,” she said, stating the obvious. “But, Nina, none of those things matter to me, not the money or the titles or the vacations.”
“They only ‘don’t matter’ to you because you have them,” Nina replied. It came out more snappish than she’d meant it to. But really. Nina was the furthest thing in the world from a social climber, yet even she couldn’t help being constantly aware of those things. Money, titles, and her lack thereof.
It was hard not to resent Sam a little bit, for being so blissfully unaware of the struggles everyone else faced.
“Well, forget what the world thinks,” Sam replied, striving for an upbeat tone.
“Forget what the world thinks?” Nina asked, incredulous. “How am I supposed to do that when millions of people are currently trash-talking me? They don’t think I’m good enough for your brother.”
