Page 127 of Reign
Nina realized that he thought she was upset to be at her ex-boyfriend’s wedding. Of course he did; it was the logical assumption, because who would ever dream she felt guilty about sending ominous emails to the bride?
She unclenched her fingers to lace them in Jamie’s, trying not to think about what Jeff had said last night:I don’t want to lose youandI keep coming back to you.About the way he’d held her gaze, his eyes so bright and disarming, his voice so serious.
It was unfair to her—and to Daphne. And that, if nothing else, had reinforced Nina’s conviction that she’d been right to interfere. No one who was desperately in love with his bride would talk to another woman that way, the very night before his wedding.
And, as irrational as it was, there was still a stubborn part of her that missed Jeff. A part of her that wished things had gone differently, that they could be friends again.
Maybe Nina was being unfair to Jamie, too.
“So I was thinking.Hamletis opening on the West End in a couple of weeks,” Jamie said, interrupting her thoughts. “I know it’s not your favorite Shakespeare, but the Duke of Cambridge invited me to the premiere. Want to come? Youcould take the train down from Oxford, and my family has a house in town—”
“Jamie.”
Something in the tone of her voice made him break off. He shifted, letting go of her hand. It took every ounce of Nina’s willpower not to reach for it again.
“You are so amazing,” she went on, her voice wobbly. “I’ve had the best time with you.”
“But…,” he supplied, watching her.
“But I think I need to take this next step, in Oxford, on my own.”
Jamie drew in a swift breath. “Are you saying you want to break up?”
“No!” It burst out of her, and she winced, ignoring the few startled glances from various royals or aristocrats seated around them. “I’ll understand ifyouwant to break up, if you don’t want to wait for me. But I need to slow down, Jamie. I’m falling for you, and it scares me.”
“Falling for someone should be a good thing. Why does it scare you?” he asked, which was a very reasonable question.
Nina looked up at him, willing back the tears that were tight in her throat. He looked so unbearably handsome in his uniform, his blond hair curling against the gray of his fur-trimmed vest, the traditional attire of the kings of Canada.
“I’m so glad I met you, Jamie. Our time together…it’s changed me. You made me confident enough to goonstage,and to apply to the Oxford program.”
“You would have done those things with or without me.”
“I doubt it.” Nina ventured a smile. “The only reason I went to that first rehearsal, instead of quitting on the spot, was so that I could slap you for that kiss at auditions.”
Something flickered behind his blue eyes. “But you didn’t slap me.”
“I’m holding the slap in reserve,” she joked, then shook her head. “Last night, you called me your girlfriend.”
“And you didn’t want me to,” Jamie said slowly.
“I thought I did, but…”
He ran a hand through his hair, seeming perplexed. “Nina, I’m falling for you, too. And aside from that, I respect you. I don’t like the idea of hooking up with you without making things official.”
“You didtryto make things official. I’m the one who asked to slow down. I promise that you’re not a bad guy if you want to keep hooking up with me,” she said, and then her smile faded. “Jamie, I’m not ready for everything that comes with being your official girlfriend. The media attention, the invitations to events, the style bloggers coming after me…”
“We could get you a stylist! And a PR person to reply to event invitations!” Jamie hurried to say, then saw the expression on her face. “Sorry. Not helping, is it?”
Nina shook her head. “Oxford is something I need to do on my own: not as your girlfriend, but simply as myself. I’ve never carved out my own space before. I came to college close to home; I’ve always hovered at the edge of the royal orbit because of Sam…. It’s time I went somewhere just for me, somewhere no one judges me on anything except my own merit.”
Jamie’s gaze locked on hers, intent and yearning. “That makes sense, Nina. But what does it mean for us?”
“Nothing has to change! I want to keep seeing you—I just want to take it slow. I want to stay…unofficial.” She tried to smile. “So, I’d love to seeHamletwith you, but can we sit in a private box and maybe not walk into the theater through the main entrance?”
Yes, they were in public together right now, but for all anyone knew they were just guests who happened to be seatedin the same pew. Nina had worried that someone might publish photos of them arriving at the rehearsal dinner together, but the tourists around the gates must have been waiting for someone more famous, or maybe they’d been too far away to get a good picture.
Her relationship with Jamie was still safe, and Nina hoped desperately that she could protect it for a little while longer.
