Page 56 of The New Year's Party
“It feels like the Godzilla of bees left its fucking stinger in my ass,” moaned Doug.
“You’re going to lie on this table and pull your pants down,” instructed Phelps as he and Bennett helped Doug lower himself to his knees on the coffee table.
Bennett had already located the wall-mounted first-aid kit. He grabbed a few packets of antiseptic wipes and pulled out the tweezers as Doug unbuckled his belt.
“Why is there a first-aid kit on the wall?” said Bennett.
“Previous owner,” said Phelps.
“What if they’re embedded so deep in my ass that—” moaned Doug.
“Shut up and pull your pants down,” ordered Phelps. “I’ll sanitize. Bennett, you tweeze.”
Doug lay face down on the coffee table. His ass was pale and hairy. Bennett leaned over, hoping his stomach would remain steady. He was normally okay with blood, but...
Ouch. Bennett could see right away the two raised welts with the dark centers, right in the center of Doug’s right butt cheek. Okay, he could do this. He clacked the tweezers to get a feel for them.
“Bennett, we have to talk about five years ago,” said Phelps as he ripped open an antiseptic wipe with his teeth.
It took Bennett a second to even realize what his friend was saying. “Wait—now?”
“Yes now, because we may not get another moment to ourselves,” said Phelps as he swabbed Doug’s ass. “I didn’t sleep with your wife.”
“Whaaaat?” Doug piped up, raising his head.
“Don’t move!” said Phelps.
Doug chortled. “You and Olivia—”
“Shut up!” Bennett and Phelps said together.
“This isn’t the time, Phelps,” said Bennett.
“You dig for treasure in Doug’s ass, I talk. Five years ago, your wife got really drunk. Okay? She was feeling sick. You were nowhere to be found.”
“I said this isn’t—” said Bennett in a tight voice, but Phelps kept going.
“I offered her my bed. We started talking. I kind of ended up dumping on her—the restaurant, my divorce—it was a real sobfest. Okay? Okay. Then she says, ‘Hey, I have shit too,’ and tells me all about this jackass professor in college who, well, fucking raped her, and—”
“What?” Bennett exploded.
“Ow!” screamed Doug. “Fucking pay attention!”
“Sorry,” said Bennett. He could see the first little pellet. It was close to the surface. It was just hard to grab. The tweezers weren’t exactly surgical grade.
“Damn it, I wasn’t supposed to say that.” Phelps rubbed his face. “Forget the professor, okay? I forgot you didn’t know. The point is, Olivia and I had a really deep conversation about the stuff that fucked us up. Then she fell asleep. And then I—” He sucked in his breath. “I... jerked off. I went into the en suite fucking bathroom and jerked off, and I’m not proud of it, but I didn’t realize anyone was fucking listening.”
“Oh-hoh-hoh—” said Doug, his head coming up again.
Bennett dug the tweezers deeper and Doug’s laughter turned to a small scream. He dropped his head.
“First one,” Bennett announced, holding up the pellet before dropping it on the floor. It rolled toward the wall.
“I know it sounds... well, whatever. I know how it sounds,” said Phelps. “But I didn’t touch her. Okay? I wasn’t even in the same room.”
“Why?” said Bennett, squinting at the second BB and preparing his next move. He was too stunned to feel much of anything. “Just—why?”
“Because we just shared all this intimate soul-shit! And she looked so beautiful lying there in the bed. You know I have a thing for your wife, okay? I told you from the start. And I had just lostmywife to a divorce, and... I indulged, okay? I indulged in a little fantasy, and I masturbated quietly in the bathroom—in the corner of the fucking bathroom, in what I thought was privacy—and then I left the room thinking no one was the wiser.”
