Page 106 of Glorious Rivals
Grayson should have known.Hehadknown.The piper had to be paid either way.
This is all on me.It was Grayson’s nature to carry failure with him—mistakes carved into hollow places he’d never been able to fill—but no part of him felthollownow.
Shefilled him.
In his mind’s eye, Grayson could see Lyra—stretching for a chandelier overhead, the lines of her body damn near impossible; amber eyes meeting his from behind a masquerade mask.
He could hear her.Give me your jacket?
She was probably never going to forgive him.She’d told him exactly what she needed and why, and he had still denied her the truth.
My mistake.
But Graysonrefusedto carry this one with him,refusedto let this be one more regret, refused to stand by, frozen, while she was out there somewhere, hurting, when he could at leasttryto make it hurt less.
You just resisted the urge to say that Hawthornes do nottry.Toby’s voice rang in Grayson’s mind, and Grayson thought about other things Toby had said—about his Hannah, about regrets.Maybe if I’d learned to love differently, I could have loved her better.I certainly couldn’t have loved her more.
This close to the water’s edge, Grayson could hear the waves.He couldn’t see them in the dark, but hefeltthem breaking against stone, and somewhere in his mind, he heard Lyra’s voice.
Maybe some of us need to break to be whole.
“Maybe some of us do,” Grayson whispered.Maybe that was the secret to loving without reservation, without fear.
A broken man couldtry.And try.And try.
To love her differently.To love her better.
Grayson shuddered.He threw back his head, raising his face to the night sky, and he let it all out.There was a poem he’d always liked by Elizabeth Bishop about the art of losing things and people and dreams.
He’d lost.
And he’d lost.
And he’d lost.
And this time, he was not letting go.
Chapter 76
ROHAN
More than an hour after the spotlight had shined the wordLIEinto the sky, Rohan arrived at the boathouse to find that someone else had beaten him there.
“Think we’re the first?”Savannah asked, her back to him.
It had taken Rohan far too long to figure out this clue.“We?”he said.
Savannah turned around.Lightning flashed over the mainland.Thunder came after a few seconds’ delay, and Savannah seemed to take that as her cue.She walked toward him, the dim lighting of the boathouse doing nothing to disguise the set of her jaw, the tension between her upper and lower lips.
She stopped all of a foot away from Rohan.“I never gave you permission to be the one who ended things,” she said, a queen to the last.
Rohan let the words slide over him, proverbial water off the duck’s back—or a particularly wily fox’s.He was on the verge ofdisregarding her altogether, as much as anyonecoulddisregard Savannah Grayson, when she spoke again.
“You were listening when Brady made me that offer, weren’t you?”Savannah was far too insightful for her own good.“I don’t know how you could have been, but logic dictates that you were.”
“Does it?”Rohan might have felt some level of admiration at her conclusion, if he’d been in the state to feel anything at all.“I suppose logic likes dictating things—as do you, Ms.Grayson.”
“I do not care for being manipulated, Rohan.Not by you.Not by Brady Daniels or his sponsor.Not by Hawthornes.Not by Eve.”This was a Savannah Grayson who’d had her fill—a dangerous Savannah Grayson indeed.
