Ivy’s the one who should be having this conversation with you, he’d said.We’ll tell you everything, I promise—
“Go,” I told Adam again, my voice sharper this time, louder.
“I’m not leaving you here alone,” he said.
“So don’t leave me alone,” I said, trying not to replay the president’s words over and over again in my mind. “I hear Vivvie has a bodyguard now.”
Vivvie’s suite at the Roosevelt Hotel was impressive. There were massive bedrooms, a sitting room, a living room, a state-of-the-art kitchen.
“What does your aunt do?” I asked Vivvie, ignoring the elephant in the room. Or maybe the elephants, plural.
“I’m not really sure,” Vivvie replied. “She works overseas. Or worked. Or …” Vivvie punctuated that sentence with a shrug.
I wondered if Vivvie was thinking, like I was, of my first day at Hardwicke, when I’d had to ask her what Ivy did for a living.
Ivy with a bomb strapped to her chest.The memory of that image came over me with no warning. It felt like someone had thrust a hand into my chest, like there was a vise around my heart. I couldn’t think, and I couldn’t breathe.
“Hey, Tess?” Vivvie said. I forced air into my lungs. Vivvie’s face was shadowed with the toll the past few weeks had taken. I wanted to push her away, but I couldn’t, because we were the same.
“Yeah?”
Vivvie reached out and grabbed my hand. “The offer about my favorite romance novel and/or horror movie,” she said, her voice hoarse with all the things neither one of us could bear to say. “It still stands.”
Adam didn’t come for me that night. I slept on the sofa, even though Vivvie offered to share her king-size bed. It felt wrong for me to be with people when Ivy had no one but the man whomight kill her for company. It felt wrong to even be lying on the sofa when Ivy had a bomb strapped to her chest.
If I’d thought it wouldn’t raise questions, I would have slept on the cold, hard floor.
If I hadn’t gotten snatched, if I’d been more suspicious when I’d seen an orderly outside my grandfather’s room, if I’d fought back harder, if I’d been stronger—
If, if, if, then Ivy might be okay.
The next morning came and went. I couldn’t bring myself to get up.
If I hadn’t gone to the state dinner, Ivy wouldn’t have flipped out and sent me to Boston. And if I hadn’t gone to Boston, I would have been at my more-secure-than-most-consulates private school instead of outside my grandfather’s room.
If, if, if …
Vivvie tried to get me to sit up, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t take my eyes off the clock, masochistically watching the minute hand crawl along, closer and closer to Ivy’s final hours.
At some point, Vivvie went to the door. I heard murmuring, but my gaze stayed fixed on the clock.
“Tess.” I could tell by the tone in Vivvie’s voice that she’d said my name more than once.
I blinked. In addition to Vivvie’s bodyguard, we now had three other visitors: Asher, Henry, and a woman who was almost certainlyHenry’sbodyguard.
Asher sat down on the sofa beside me. I couldn’t even summon the energy to shove him off the sofa.
“Vivvie told us.” Henry didn’t specify what she had told them.
If, if, if …
“I am sorry about your sister,” Henry told me. “For what it’s worth, I have to believe she has a contingency plan of some sort.”
A rush of anger went through my body, and with it, came my voice. “You’re the authority, aren’t you? On Ivy?She can’t be trustedand all that?”
“Tess.” Henry knelt next to me. “You have to know, I never would have wanted—”
“Wouldn’t you?” I sat up, then stood, all in one motion. He could stay kneeling for all I cared. “You did this,” I told Henry. “If you hadn’t opened your mouth with the reporter, if you hadn’tinsistedon going to that state dinner, then I might have been here, in DC! I might not have gotten taken, and Ivy would never have had to trade herself for me. You did this,” I told Henry.