Page 100 of Save Us
I know my father. I know that he means every last word of what he just said.
Emptiness spreads through me.
The happiness I’ve felt in the last few weeks, the hope that I’ve let myself feel for the first time in my life—it’s all forced out, one drop at a time, until there’s nothing left.
Nothing but the knowledge that I’ve lost.
I feel the mask slip back over my face, as if it had never gone away. Then I ask blankly: “What do you want me to do?”
26
Ruby
When Mortimer Beaufort leaves, he takes every scrap of atmosphere with him.
James comes back outside, white as chalk and with a look in his eyes that makes me panic. But when we ask him what’s wrong, all he’ll do is wave dismissively, pick up his plate from the buffet table, and start eating.
The party breaks up soon after that. I’m so busy worrying about James that I don’t even flinch when Ember gets into Wren’s car. He at least has the decency to hesitate and glance uncertainly at me, but I just shake my head and shrug my shoulders.
At least this way, I get the chance to speak to James in peace—his behavior is unnerving me more with every passing minute.
We’ve been on the road back to Gormsey in silence for a good hour, Percy at the wheel, when I slide over the back seat toward James and take his hand.
“Speak to me,” I whisper.
James had been looking out of the window, but at this heturns to me. The next moment, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me.
His lips pull away from mine, but he keeps hold of my face. When I open my eyes, I can see that his are still shut.
“James…”
His hands are shaking.
“I’m so sorry,” he croaks. “I…I’m so sorry.”
“What?” I ask insistently, grabbing his wrist. In this instant, I want to hold him as close to me as I possibly can. “James, you’re scaring me.”
His breathing is irregular. What meeting his dad has done to him is killing me.
“What happened?” I whisper, stroking his wrist with my thumb.
James lets me for a few seconds, then leans back in his seat. He rubs his hands over his face.
“Dad’s…” He seems to be hunting for the right words. “Dad’s won.”
The blurry streetlights are slipping evenly past us, but it feels as though time has stood still. “What?”
“I’m going back to Beaufort’s on Monday.” He clears his throat. “And I’m moving back home tonight.”
“No,” I blurt out. “No, James.” I want to reach for his hand, but he pulls it away. My heart plummets. “It doesn’t matter what he said,” I insist. “We’ll find a way.”
“There’s too much at stake. It’s too risky.”
I shake my head.
“Ruby…”
“No! Whatever he threatened you with—it’s not worth you giving up your future over.”
