Page 55 of Save Us
“Even I can do that,” says James, taking the pot from me. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world, he walks over to a cupboard and pulls out a pan. Then he opens a drawer and digs around for a spatula. Then he empties the tub of leftover risotto into the saucepan and puts it on the stovetop.
I watch him for a while as he stirs, and I can’t keep the smile off my face. It’s so cute that he feels this at home in our kitchen.
I turn to the wall cupboard to get out a plate for each of us, but fast as lightning, James is blocking my way, spatula in hand. He’s brandishing it like a weapon. “I’ll do that.”
I raise my hands in surrender and step aside so that he can get them. Then I lean my back against the countertop and watch him set the plates down next to the cooker and, a few minutes later, fill them with food.
Armed with plates and cutlery, we head up to my room. I put my laptop on the bedside table and turn it so that James and I can both see the screen. On the bus ride home, we decided to keep watchingThe Alienist, so I click on the episode we were in the middle of last night and press play. Then I sit down on the floor next to James and we lean against the bed.
James hands me a plate, and I dig into the risotto.
“First day back was a total success, huh?” he asks as the spine-tingling titles and theme song play.
“I’m so happy. You just can’t imagine,” I say through a mouthful.
“Anyone could see how happy you were. All day long. Your smile lit up the whole school.”
I turn toward him and grin. “Lit up the whole school? You charmer!”
James just smiles over the rim of his water glass, his eyes fixed on the laptop. We eat while watching Daniel Brühl, Dakota Fanning, and Luke Evans hunt a bloodthirsty murderer through Victorian New York, and I can’t believe how right and normal it feels to be sitting here with James.
After we’ve eaten, I lean my head against his shoulder and cuddle up to him. He puts a hand on my thigh and strokes it lazily. It’s good to be so close to him. For the first time in ages, I’m really relaxed—and James seems to feel the same way. At the end of the episode, I’d love to just close my eyes and nod off beside him.
But there’s a whole heap of to-dos waiting for me in my bullet journal after the day at school, and it’s never been so hard to get down to work. I eventually drag myself up. James sighs and stretches, and as I pull my notes out of my bag and spread themout on my desk, I hear him stifling a laugh. I glance at him and he grins back.
“Lin and I can’t keep up with your color coding,” he says, nodding at all the sheets of paper that I marked up with highlighters and Post-its at school.
“No, you did great.” I pull my pencil case and bullet journal from my backpack too and try to get my head around where to start.
“Want me to give you a bit of space?” James asks after a while. “I can work down in the sitting room.”
“No, it’s fine. I like you being here with me.”
“Do you mind if I use your laptop?”
“Knock yourself out,” I reply.
“Thanks,” says James, pulling it onto his lap. He sits there cross-legged on my bed, and I start on my homework.
I don’t know how long it’s been, but by the time I tick the last thing off in my journal, it’s dark outside and my head feels completely incapable of absorbing a single new piece of information without exploding. I love that feeling. There were even times when I forgot that James was in the room with me, but then the gentle tapping of the laptop keys would remind me, making me smile.
Now I turn and watch James as he focuses on the screen.
“I’m done,” I announce.
James jumps as if he’d been deep in thought. “Oh, already?”
I glance at the clock on my bedside table. “It’s been over an hour and a half.”
James looks at it too, in disbelief. “Wow, I really lost track of time.”
I stand up and come to sit next to him again. I glance at the laptop, but James minimizes the browser before I can get a glimpse of what he was looking at.
I nudge his leg with mine. “I only wanted to know what was so enthralling to you.”
“Oh, nothing.”
“Pretty interesting nothing, apparently,” I say.
