Page 83 of Save Us
James hugs me back.
“I’m so glad you think so. I was really scared of today. I…” He pauses. “I owe this all to you, Ruby. You gave me the push I needed to listen to my heart and think about what I really want to do after A levels. I’ll be forever grateful to you for that.”
I lean back a little to meet his eyes. I run my hand over the back of his neck and up to his jaw, smiling at him, even as tears suddenly sting my eyes.
“But won’t a flat tie you down?” I croak. “I mean, if you want to travel?”
He slowly shakes his head. Absently, he runs his hand up and down my thigh, a gesture that’s both soothing and exciting.
“My mum always said property was a sensible capital investment,” he replies. “Once I’ve sold my stake in Beaufort’s, I have to do something with the money I’m not going to use for my travels. Besides, I’m not planning to spend the whole time away, and when I’m in this country, I want to be near you. And you’re going to be in Oxford, so I can’t think of anywhere better.”
“You shouldn’t do this for me, James,” I whisper, choked.
“I don’t want to lose you. This is meant as a sign, Ruby. I’m serious about us, and I want to be able to live with you once we’ve left school.”
This little office suddenly feels much bigger. The world seems to expand as James looks me in the eyes and whispers such significant words to me.
“I’d like to be with you too,” I reply, equally quietly.
The next second, James bends down and I reach to meet him.He presses his lips to mine, as caught up in this moment as I am. Our kiss is so intense that for a moment, I don’t know whether I’m on my head or my heels. All I can do is cling to James.
I run my hands over his back, the collar of his shirt, and stroke my fingers over the skin beneath it. It feels hot to my touch, and suddenly I’m flushed hot too. James’s hands roam down toward my waist. He traces the curve of my ribs, then reaches around and rests both palms flat on my back to pull me closer to him. I sigh as he kisses me more deeply, then gently bites into my lip.
“Mr. Beaufort?” I suddenly hear the estate agent’s voice.
I pull away so abruptly that I lose my balance and the chair skids over the floor. He steadies me with a hand on my back and shuts the laptop with the other.
“In the office,” he replies, having straightened his T-shirt.
Shaun appears a moment later in the doorway. He looks from one of us to the other. I can’t help noticing his lips twitch as he asks:
“Would you both like to see the garden?”
21
James
Back in Brightwell-cum-Sotwell, Ruby and I have breakfast for dinner, and I wonder why on earth I’ve never done this before. It feels like the best idea ever.
After that, we decide to make the most of the lovely weather and sit out in the garden. Martha tipped us off that there’s a seating area a few yards beyond the shepherd’s hut, where you get a great view over the countryside all around. Ruby goes on ahead, and I pick up a couple of blankets from the hut, which we wrap around ourselves. I put on a playlist of chill songs by Death Cab for Cutie, Iron & Wine, Keaton Henson, and Vancouver Sleep Clinic, and together we watch the sky gradually changing color.
“Have you decided where you’re going to go traveling first?” Ruby asks after a while.
“Thailand,” I answer so fast that it’s almost embarrassing. “After all, it’s on the list. It doesn’t matter how often I read about other destinations, I keep coming back to it. I’ve come up with an itinerary that takes in all the insider tips I’ve found online so far.”
The moment I even think getting on board a plane and finallygoing to all the places I’ve only ever seen in magazines and blogs, I get a kick of energy that I’ve never experienced before. It feels like something’s woken up inside me and can’t be stopped; OK, so it’s all still kind of vague, but I’ve never felt this good, this excited, when I’ve imagined the future before.
“Let me help,” says Ruby. “I’m good at organizing things. We can book your flights together and work out where you’re going to stay, and I can make a to-do list to help you plan, and we can work through it a bit at a time.”
I study her. Keaton Henson’s quiet voice is coming from the speakers, and Ruby’s eyes are fixed on the setting sun. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this image of her: her cheeks glowing red, her hair blowing gently in the breeze, her slightly parted lips. She’s so beautiful that it sometimes takes my breath away.
“Are you really OK with all this, Ruby?” I ask quietly.
She pulls up her legs and wraps her arms around them. Then she rests her head on her knees and looks sideways at me. I see a wistfulness in her eyes, but there’s a glint of happiness there too.
“It’s going to be hard,” she begins slowly. “But I think it’s great that you want to do this. I’ll always have your back, like you’ve got mine.”
As I nod, I realize that I’d been unconsciously holding my breath. I slowly exhale.
