Page 39 of Save Us
She keeps her head down, tears running over her face, dripping onto her legs. Cautiously, I stretch out a hand and run my thumb over her wet cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice trembling.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I reply, now laying my hand on her cheek.
“Right from the start, I sucked you into my mess. I’ve never been more than a burden to you. And now you’ve lost your job because of me. I break everything I touch, Graham.”
Fiercely, I shake my head and now bring my other hand up to her face. I wait until she’s looking at me again.
“You never broke anything. Far from it. I’d have looked foranother job either way. Just because it’s happened this way doesn’t make it a bad thing.”
Lydia just shakes her head. It’s killing me to see her like this.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most. But I’ll stay with you always now, if you’ll let me.”
“Don’t say things like that,” Lydia gasps, looking at me from her tear-stained face.
“I mean it,” I whisper firmly, wiping her tears away with my fingers. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
She gulps hard. Her whole body suddenly tenses.
“Yes, there is.”
“Then tell me about it,” I reply quietly.
“I should have told you ages ago,” Lydia whispers, and I can see the fear that’s filling her whole body reflected in her sad, green-blue eyes. “It’s going to…” She coughs. “It’s going to wreck your life even more than it already is.”
My mouth and throat go dry. Her panic is starting to rub off on me, but I can’t imagine that whatever she wants to tell me is worse than what we’ve already been through together.
“What is it, Lydia?”
She looks at me through damp lashes. I recognize the precise moment when she finds the courage to speak the words.
“I’m pregnant.”
My thumbs freeze on Lydia’s cheeks.
“Sorry?” I say, barely audibly.
“I’m pregnant,” she repeats. “With twins.”
I stare up at her. Pressure builds in my chest, keeps rising, until I feel like I might explode at any moment. Lydia’s words echo in my head, gradually forming into a picture that takes my breath away.
“Truly?” I croak.
She nods. She’s stopped breathing, I think, the same as me.
The whole gamut of feelings races through me. I can’t control them, or the thoughts whirling around my head. Without hesitation, I lean forward and press my lips onto Lydia’s forehead. A sob emerges from her throat, and I pull her to me and hold her tight. There are no questions, no boundaries, or anything else in this moment. I gently rock her in my arms.
“I was so scared to tell you,” she says in a muffled whisper.
I just shake my head.
In this second, I can’t let her go. This news ought to have knocked me for six, but it’s done the exact opposite. Deep down, I felt everything in my life fall into place from one moment to the next. The uncertainty and fear that I felt just a few minutes ago have disappeared, and joy and excitement sweep through me, making me dizzy as I breathe way too fast.
I let go of Lydia. Still kneeling on the floor, hands around her arms, I look up at her and say, my voice shaking, “You’ve just made me very happy.”
Disbelief fills her glittering eyes. She blinks twice.
