Page 43 of Save Us
I don’t want to think about that. No—Ican’tthink about that. I can’t deal with another person to worry about.
Ruby watches me sidelong for a while. I’m not expecting her to drop the subject this quickly, but she just rests her hand on mine on the gear stick for a moment.
“You look tired,” she says. “Are you really OK sleeping on the sofa?”
“Honestly, it’s fine,” I say truthfully. It’s not the sofa’s fault I couldn’t sleep.
“If it gives you a backache, I can move in with Ember and you can have my bed.”
I gulp. Spending the night in Ruby’s bed, surrounded by her smell and the things that are closest to her heart, knowing that there’s only a wall between us? I think not.
“I like your sofa,” I say, a bit more emphatically than necessary. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, isn’t it my turn to ask you a question?”
“Oh. Very true.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Ruby straighten up a little. I have to fight down a smile.
“OK…What’s your favorite animal?”
“Penguins,” says Ruby instantly.
“Penguins?”
She nods. “Totally. They look like they’re wearing tiny suits.And they’re true romantics, who stay with their partners forever once they’ve found them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah—they’re so interesting. Although, to be fair, they do look for a new partner if they don’t find their old one again after the winter. But otherwise, they mate for life. And they give each other presents. It’s so cute.”
“Presents? Like what?”
“Little pebbles. They’re buried under the ice, and it’s really hard work to dig one up. So if a penguin gives you a pebble, it means they really love you.”
I glance over at Ruby. “I think I’m starting to see what you see in them.”
“Ember and I watched a documentary about a penguin couple once. We cried our eyes out.”
I laugh and shake my head.
“My turn,” says Ruby. “Tell me somewhere you’d like to be kissed.”
My laugh has turned into a soft smile. “That’s not a question.”
She sighs. “Where would you like to be kissed?”
“By you? Anywhere.”
“James,” she says warningly, but when I sneak a look at her, I can see that she’s smiling.
“Let me think about it.”
There are so many places I’d like to go with Ruby, so much that we haven’t shared with each other, and so much that I’d like to experience with her in the future.
And thinking about a future together makes my heart beat faster. I can see it so clearly: Ruby and I living in a little flattogether, a kiss that’s everyday yet still romantic. Full of deep emotions and familiarity that’s grown over the years. The picture sends a pleasant thrill through my body.
I’d like a kiss like that.
But I know this isn’t the time to share anything that significant with her.
