Page 84 of Save Us
I can’t tell whether anyone will read my blog. I might come home in a month or so, empty-handed, having to admit that it’s been a flop. But if it works out, then what? If we’re apart for ages, will that automatically mean we grow apart too?
I won’t know the answer to that question for a while. All I can do now is reach out my hand and lay it on Ruby’s cheek. And I can lean in and let my lips melt into hers.
Our kiss is gentle. Full of uncertainty, yet beautiful.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely going to be crying like a baby at the airport,” says Ruby, pulling away from me for a moment.
“So are we going to be the cringy couple giving PDA in the middle of the airport?”
She laughs quietly, but it sounds sad. I rest my forehead against hers and shut my eyes.
“You could come with me,” I say. “Just the first few weeks, in the summer, I mean.”
Ruby holds her breath. I open my eyes again.
“This is meant to beyouradventure, James,” she whispers.
“I can’t think of anything nicer than spending the summer with you,” I say. I’d been intending to hold back on this suggestion. Coming here, the flat, the blog…I don’t want to dump too much on Ruby all at once. But in this split second, I can’t help myself. I just have to let her know how much she means to me.
“Only if you want to, obviously,” I add hastily. “If you’ve got other plans before starting at Oxford, I totally get that.”
Then she grins. “Me, come to Thailand? Really?”
I nod. “We could do a little tour. Or spend the whole time in one place, whichever you prefer.”
“That sounds too beautiful to be true,” she whispers, snuggling into me. “I’d get to go to those markets you mentioned and try the street food.”
“And we have to go to Khao Sok National Park. Oh, and to Lake View Bungalows in Khao Lak.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Ruby turns aside and presses a soft kiss on my jaw. Then she traces a line downward. I inhale sharply as I feel her tongueagainst my throat. Then she kisses her way back up again and pauses a handsbreadth from my face. Her eyes have never looked so green. “I love you, James,” she whispers.
My heart leaps. I lean down and stroke my lips against hers. I hear her catch her breath. “Love you too, Ruby Bell.”
As I kiss her again, all thoughts of the future dissolve into mist, which retreats further the closer Ruby and I come to each other.
I hold her face in both my hands and pull her closer, ever closer to me. I’m only dimly aware of the blanket slipping from her shoulders and sliding to the ground. The next moment, she gets up from her chair and comes to sit in my lap, just as she did in the flat earlier.
This time, I don’t want to risk getting interrupted—just like that, I tighten my grip on Ruby and scoop her up, hold her in my arms. We keep on kissing as I carry her back to our hut. It’s only when I get to the steps that I release my mouth from hers so that I can look where I’m putting my feet. Once we’re inside, I let Ruby slide slowly down my body and set her gently back on the floor. Then I slide the door closed. I lean my back against it.
“Are you cold?” I ask hoarsely. “Shall I light the fire?”
Ruby keeps on looking at me with her deep green eyes and slowly shakes her head. She takes a step toward me, then another. She puts her hands on my stomach and strokes them up over my chest, which makes me gasp.
“I’ve missed this,” Ruby whispers, drumming her fingers against my ribs for a second. “Being this close to you.”
“Me too,” I reply.
Even though our last time together was almost six months ago now, there’ve been nights, and even days, when I haven’t beenable to think about anything else. I’ve wanted to do exactly this with her. Stroke her hair out of her face, put my hand on her chin, and kiss her as hard as I possibly can.
But it’s never been the right moment. Now it is.
There’s nothing to hold us back, and there’s a determination in all my movements that Ruby echoes with the same intensity. What I feel for her would scare me if it didn’t feel so incredible to have her here with me, in my life, in my arms.
Her hands are all over my body, while mine slip under the hem of her top. I gently stroke her warm skin, and Ruby follows suit. She reaches under my T-shirt, runs her fingertips over my stomach and hips, and upward. I get full-body goose bumps, and blood is pounding in my veins. It’s roaring in my ears, but I can still hear Ruby’s quiet breathing, getting faster every time I touch her.
Hands trembling, I push up Ruby’s top. Once she’s slowly pulled my shirt over my head, she flings her arms around me and presses her lips to my rib cage. The lace on her beige bra scratches gently over my skin, making the bulge in my trousers more evident than ever.
