Page 171 of If You Claim Me
Like my partner would.
Like the man I fell in love with would.
I ache with the desire to go to them, to comfort her, too. But they need this moment, where she falls apart, and he shows her he cares. I want our feelings for each other to be big enough to get past this, but I also need him to see what happens when he shuts out the people who love him. The consequences are real, and vast and painful.
I need him to find the place where he’s ready to own the hurt he caused. Maybe seeing the impact on Everly—a girl without a family, who for a moment in time believed maybe she could have one—will help give him the clarity he needs.
I excuse myself to the bathroom, because I’m on the verge of tears. When I come out, Everly drapes herself over my back like a weighted human blanket. “I miss him.”
“Me too.”
“He misses us, too. He misses you.”
When I look up, Connor moves toward us, and his eyes find mine. I see the regret written all over his gorgeous, forlorn face. His hand lifts, and for a moment I think he’ll reach out and touch me. Ground me. Ease the ache in my heart. But he doesn’t.
I wish love didn’t come with thorns.
Roman appears in the doorway, and all eyes move to him. His wide smile tells us the most important thing. Lexi and Roman are parents.
“We have a brand-new baby girl!” he announces.
Hammer is the first to hug him, and then everyone converges, smiling and laughing and congratulating. It’s a beautiful moment, and my heart fills with happiness for him and Lexi and her sisters. They deserve this opportunity to feel whole.
But the piece of me that longs for my own family aches, and I wonder if I’ll ever have a heart full of my own happiness, and not just joy for the people around me.
CHAPTER 49
CONNOR
I’m kicking myself for not pulling Mildred aside at the hospital when I had the chance a few days ago. But I won’t waste another opportunity. Tonight is the library fundraising gala, organized with the help of Hemi and Hammer, to support Toronto Central’s community programs. Meems is my date.
Tristan steps up beside me as I grab Meems a ginger ale from the bar. “How you doing, man?”
“Okay. You?”
He knows the story behind me and Mildred now. The whole group does. There’s less animosity from my team and a lot more pity. I’m not sure which I like less.
“I’m good.” He surveys the wall of silent auction items, half of them donated by me and Meems. “This is quite the event.”
“It should keep the library programs running for the foreseeable future.”
My plan is to make sure Mildred never has to write another grant proposal. Meems was livid when she discovered my father had pulled the funding she’d set up years ago. She was also beyond enraged when she found out he’d been cheating on my mother. She’s feeling better since we fixed the library funding, but I don’t know what will repair things for my father.
“Dred does amazing things for her community,” Tristan says.
“She does.”
After a beat of silence he adds, “I’m sorry I told Flip about what you did at my wedding, but I’m also not sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s not fair that I asked you to keep that secret for me.”
He shrugs. “We’re all keeping secrets. You don’t have to keep hiding the fact that you’re a good guy, Connor. You can own it.”
“Am I, though? I could have just made Mildred’s problem go away like I did yours.”
He sighs. “How would that have worked, though? She wouldn’t have accepted it as a gift. It’s not how she operates. You know that. You knew that from the start, though, didn’t you? After all the time you spent with her at Callie’s games.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “She’s an easy person to care about.”
