Page 155 of If You Claim Me
“If you change your mind, we’re in room six twenty-six.”
“I won’t, but thanks.”
He leaves me to stew in my own self-loathing.
My phone buzzes with a message. I pull it out of my pocket, almost hoping for one from my father, so I can get into it with him, too. But he doesn’t watch my games.
My Darling Wife
Hey, how are you?
I stare at the message for long minutes.I’m fucking awful. I let my team down, I’m away for three more days before I can see Meems again, and I’m certain that when Meems is in good form again, I’ll have to let you go.
My Darling Wife
Meems had a good day. They have her up and walking around. We played Connect Four and she kicked my ass. The doctors said if she keeps improving they could release her as soon as next week.
Please respond.
Connor
That’s good news.
My Darling Wife
Can I call you?
Connor
Not right now.
My Darling Wife
Are you out with the team?
Connor
I just can’t talk.
My Darling Wife
Are you okay?
The answer is no. I’m not remotely okay. I’m scared. I’mfucking everything up. But I can’t tell her the truth when there are hours and too many miles separating us. And I’m terrified her feelings won’t match mine.
Connor
I’m fine. I just don’t have the energy to talk.
The dots appear and disappear three times.
She doesn’t respond.
Which is what I asked for.Dammit.
The next morning when we’re boarding the plane, I overhear Flip talking to my wife on the phone. Of course she went to him. He would never shut her out. He’s her best friend, the person she confides in the most.
When I lose her, he’ll be there to help her move forward. And I’ll be exactly as Meems feared I would be: alone.
