Page 91 of Hit the Ground
“Of course I did.” His troubled gaze swept to mine. “I don’t want him leaving.Ever, if it were up to me. I’m smart enough to get that’s not a possibility. But in the back of my mind, there’s some niggling doubt. Should I have allowed it? He’d have a lot more resources available to him in Denver—”
“Caleb, no. Jesse is thriving here, and you know that. His education is important, sure, but what he gets living with his family, on this land, is just as valuable, if not more. You’re letting him spread his wings this summer, and he’s safe to do that, knowing he can come back to his nest when it’s over.”
He laid his head back on the cushions and groaned. “I know you’re right. I’ve been telling myself the same thing. So why am I still questioning it? Why is parenting such a mindfuck all the time?”
Pushing up on my knees, I climbed onto his lap and slid my fingers through his hair. “I’ve never been a parent, so I don’t know. But I think it’s a good sign you’re regularly tortured with uncertainty. That means you care deeply about your son, and you’re willing to drive yourself crazy getting it right.”
“Tortured is right.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest and running his nose along the side of my head. “What else can I do for him? If he wanted to play football or join the 4-H, I’d have no problem, but I don’t know the first thing about robots or science.”
I almost laughed, but held it in. Now wasn’t the time. “He gets robots and science at school and the library, honey. With you, he gets all your knowledge of running a large ranch, land as far as the eye can see, animals and fishing any time he wants, and a family who sees him as someone important and vital. You’re sending him out into the world with all that, and I have to say, he’s better off than most kids. Even those who go to science academies and take college courses starting in middle school.”
He let out a long sigh but kept his eyes narrowed on me. “You’ll tell me if I miss something, right? If I get too myopic and don’t see an opportunity I should be giving him?”
My chest swelled with emotion. Him asking me to do that when he’d been angry at me for the same thing a couple months ago only highlighted how drastically things between us had changed. We were in this together. He trusted me and my judgment. I was part of his life, and that included his son.
“I don’t think that’ll happen, but yes, I promise to tell you when you’re screwing up.”
He chuffed. “Appreciate it, darlin’. I need my girl to keep me humble and on my toes.” Then he pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “Thank you for reminding me of what I’m giving him. Means a lot to me you see that.”
“It’s true. And I’ll keep reminding you. As many times as it takes.”
He gave a low hum, his arms tightening around me until I could feel the steady beat of his heart against my cheek. We stayed like that for a while, his big hands sliding up and down my back, mine tracing lazy circles along his shoulders and chest.
After a long silence, he murmured into my hair, “You’re going to be a great mom when you’re ready, Alice.”
The words and certainty behind them hit deep. My throat tightened as I tilted my head to meet his eyes. “I want that,” I whispered back, the admission catching on my breath.
His gaze was as soft as a feather brushing over my skin, but his voice was firm. “Then I’ll make sure you get it.”
I sank against him again, letting the weight of his promise settle in my bones. It was too soon for us to be making commitments like that, but right now, in his arms, it didn’t feel that way. Not even a little bit.
Chapter Thirty-five
Alice
Phoebewasablurof pink sundress, long, pretty hair, and easy laughter as Deke spun her across the little square of worn wood Joy’s generously called a dance floor. The jukebox warbled out an old country tune, and the two moved in a way that spoke of lots of nights like this, not a single misstep between them.
I was still smiling at the sight when Caleb’s big hand slid over mine. “Come on,” he said, pulling me out of my seat.
“Caleb—” I dug my heels in halfway, but he didn’t even break stride.
“I want to dance with my girl, darlin’. Don’t deprive me of that,” he rumbled, pulling me against his chest.
How could I argue with that? Besides, I had known this was where tonight had been leading. We’d shared dinner and drinks with Phoebe and Deke—our first real double date—and they’d told us all about the dance club they liked to frequent with their friends, Chris and Tilly. Deke hadn’t been a dancer until he met Phoebe, but she’d converted him. And dang it, they were sweet together.
Phoebe’s laughter rang like church bells as Deke whirled her past us. I looked up at Caleb, panic fluttering in my stomach. “I can’t dance like that. I’ve only ever danced alone, in my kitchen, when I’m cooking.”
“I’ve seen you do that. I know you’ve got moves.” His mouth curved at the memory of walking in on me shimmying my hips and singing into my spoon a few nights ago. “All you have to do is let me lead you. I’m no expert, but I’ve got a few moves of my own.”
Before I knew it, he bent, nudging my shoes onto his boots until I was standing on his feet. I yelped, grabbing for his shoulders, but he only tightened his arms around me and straightened to his full height.
“Hold on,” he said, as if I’d ever let go.
We were off, gliding in a wide circle while Phoebe and Deke twirled like professionals in the middle of it all. I clung to Caleb, laughing helplessly as the bar tilted around us. For once, I wasn’t worried about who might be looking at me or what I was doing right or wrong. How could I have thought about anything other than balancing on my cowboy’s boots and letting him carry me around the dance floor?
“I’m going to be so dizzy,” I cried into his chest.
“Good. I’ll have an excuse to carry you.”
