Page 14 of Hit the Ground
“Oh,” I said quietly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he rushed out, stepping forward like he could soften the blow with proximity. “Last night was unexpected. You took me by surprise. It was good. Real good. And I guess…I got swept up in it.”
I nodded, my mouth dry. “And you aren’t swept up anymore.”
His lips pressed into a grim line. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just—I’ve got Jesse, the ranch, and…well, this isn’t something I do…” He glanced down at the flowers, like maybe they’d speak for him.
“This isn’t something you do?”
“It’s not.” He exhaled, and when he spoke again, he was more decisive. “If this was only one date, I’d go through with it. But I have the feeling that’s not all you’re looking for, and I am not the one who can give you more.”
“You’d go through with it,” I intoned. Like in other circumstances, a date with me would be a test or challenge he’d be willing to see through.
“It wouldn’t be a hardship.” He looked me right in the eye, like he needed to make sure I understood him. “The thing is, I grew up seeing my parents in a good, strong marriage. That kind of example could have gone one of two ways for me. I could’ve seen what they had and sought it out for myself. If I didn’t have Jesse, I might’ve been more inclined. But I’ve got my boy, a tight family, a job that takes a hell of a lot of my time, and I’m content. I’m not looking to settle down with someone. I’m settled as I am. And you…you deserve a man who’ll give you that. As much as I’d like to take you to dinner, I think it’ll be better for us both to leave it here.”
My ears were ringing, and my face was so hot, sweat prickled at my hairline. Everything he’d said was rational. It made sense. This wasn’t personal. Caleb wasn’t a relationship guy, and he thought I was a relationship girl.
Was I? I didn’t even know.
Probably.
He was most likely right. One date with him wouldn’t have been enough. Now that I looked at it that way, I was almost relieved he was canceling on me.
There was a long beat where neither of us spoke. The wind stirred the hem of my dress, tugged at my sweater, reminding me how cold it still was.
I nodded sharply. “Thank you for explaining. I understand. And you’re right, I don’t know if I would have proposed marriage, but if I went out with you once, I’m sure I would have wanted a repeat, so I’m glad I don’t know what I’m missing.”
“Alice…” he groaned. “Look, I—”
I held up my hand, desperately needing this to be finished. “I don’t think there’s anything more to say. Have a great night.”
He shifted between his feet, conflicted. “All right. You too.” Then he offered me the flowers. “Wait. These are for you.”
I backed up. “No, thank you.”
He shook them lightly. “I want you to have them. It’s the least I can do after dragging you through all this.”
I took another step away from him. “Really, thank you, but no. I’ve never been given flowers before, and I’d rather not start with a pity bouquet.”
He chuffed. “That’s not what this is.”
“It’s fine. Truly, I’d rather not.”
I looked down at the pretty pink box in his other hand and decided I could use a lot of whatever was inside it. A cookie, a muffin—anythingsweet to cover up this bitterness in my mouth. Being bold one more time, I dashed forward, slipped it from his hold, and danced back.
“I’ll never turn down Phoebe’s baking.” I cradled the box close. “Thanks, Caleb. I guess I’ll see you at Joy’s.”
Then I walked into my house, closing the door behind me. When I peeked through the sidelight, Caleb was standing exactlywhere I’d left him, one hand clutching the flowers, the other on the back of his head, staring at my door.
I sighed. At least I knew the answer to the question that had been poised at the tip of my tongue the last four years. Caleb and I were never going to be.
Now…
I could get over him.
Chapter Six
Alice
