Page 63 of Feels Like the First Time
Ali would have gone withsad. If it had been that important to Bridget that Ali be at every pre-wedding event, then she could only imagine how important it was to have her fiancé by her side. “Nolan is a pretty laid-back guy. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind meeting Jamie some other time.”
“There is no other time. Jamie needs to get started on this project the second we get back from our honeymoon. So unless I want to spend a day or two alone on a boat in the middle of the Gulf, it’s better he gets it over with,” Bridget said, and there was a resignation in her tone that Ali knew all too well. It was the same thing Ali had seen as a child, every time she’d looked in the mirror.
“Is that what you want,” she asked softly. “To get this over with?”
Bridget’s hand crept across her throat. “No,” she said, but her eyes went misty. “Oh God, is that what it seems like to everyone?”
“Screw everyone else. What matters is what it feels like to you.”
Bridget gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Easy for you to say. You don’t care what anyone thinks. And why should you? You have the perfect life.”
Ali snorted. “Right, because living with your dad until you’re twenty-seven is really cool. It also makes dating so much fun.”
“You get to make your art, answer to no one but yourself, eat pie every day.”
“I never knew you were into metal art.”
Bridget rolled her eyes, then dabbed them with a napkin. “You know what I mean. You have a career. Something to point to and say, ‘Hey I did that.’”
“You have a huge house, you’re getting married, and get to use phrases like ‘Let’s brunch’ in daily life and not sound like a poser.”
“The house belonged to my ex, the lifestyle is courtesy of my fiancé, and I hate brunching,” Bridget admitted.
“Okay, what’s yours?” Ali asked, and when Bridget looked ready to cry again, she took her hand. It was awkward, but Kennedy did it whenever someone was upset, so Ali gave it a try. “What did you set out to do?”
“Have a fabulous life.” Bridget sniffed. “God, it sounds so lame, even to me.”
Yeah, it sounded lame, but then again who was Ali to judge someone else’s dream? Hers had been to find a career where she could use a blowtorch all day, because she liked how it felt in her hand. The bending metal into cool shapes came later.
“Definefabulous.”
“I don’t know,” Bridget said, sounding as lost as she did embarrassed. “I like to make things pretty and find a place for everything.”
Now they were getting somewhere. “Like what you did with Dad’s house?”
“Yeah,” Bridget said. “When Mom was in one of her dating phases, I used to spend a lot of time rearranging my bedroom. Every weekend I would move stuff around, try to find the perfect spacing. Or I’d set the dining room table for just myself, using all of the pretty plates.” She laughed. “Did you know Mom has a china pattern for every marriage? Two from Dad’s.”
“I’m not surprised.” When Gail tossed out the old, she made sure that when it came to bringing in the new…everything was new. Furniture, houses, personalities, political views.
The only consistent thing in her life was Bridget. Who was now doing the same thing.
“After the honeymoon, why don’t you look into event planning,” Ali suggested, even though she wanted to tell her to put the wedding on hold until she figured out if marrying Jamie was the best thing for her. But Ali was practicing the art of remaining neutral, listening rather than telling Bridget what her problem was. “I bet there are some openings to start as an assistant to help make contacts.”
“I met a woman at one of Hawk’s parties and she asked me to help her with a big event for the NHL, and if things worked out, maybe it could become a steady thing.”
“That’s great!”
Bridget looked up, her face unreadable. “Hawk was drafted by the Blackhawks the next week, and he had to be there for training. So I had to pass.”
“Why didn’t you do the party and then go meet Hawk?” Ali asked, trying to get the topic away from the biggest obstacle left between them.
Bridget took a sip of wine. “Hawk said that, too, but his career was taking off and I needed to focus on helping him get to the next level.”
“Maybe it’s your turn to get to the next level,” Ali said.
Bridget gave a nostalgic smile. “That’s what Hawk said after his accident. That it was my turn.”
“Then why did you leave?” Ali asked, because, if they were going to talk about Hawk, they might as welltalkabout him.
“I don’t know.” Bridget licked her spoon and set it down. “I was so good at being a hockey wife. Used to the long seasons, him being on the road, the parties, the press. Once that was gone, and he was home all the time, I got scared.”
“Scared to spend that much time with him?” Ali said, thinking that waking up with Hawk every day, ending the evenings in his arms, would be something to treasure. Not something to run from.
“Scared that spending that much time together would only cause the excitement and love to fizzle out,” Bridget said with so much conviction, Ali didn’t know whether to hug her or sock her. “And I was right, he moved on.”
“Only because you left him, even though he loved you,” Ali pointed out, not understanding how her sister could walk away from a man who had so much love to give. Then again, wasn’t that what she’d done with Marty all these years?
Tested him to see just how far she could go before he came running after her.
“I guess I’m more like Mom than I thought,” Bridget whispered softly, and for the first time in her life, Ali was thankful to be the odd Marshal woman out.
