Page 69 of Feels Like the First Time
The bathroom door was closed, but that didn’t stop him. He gave a quick tap, and when she didn’t answer, he let himself in. Ali sat on the edge of the tub, her feet tucked up under her, and she was crying.
Big silent tears that broke his fucking heart.
“I got you,” he said as he scooped her up, careful of the new bruises on her legs from working all week, and carried her to the bed. He set her down and moved in beside her.
She scrambled up his chest and wrapped her slim arms around his neck and he realized that he had it backward. She had him. From the moment they met, she had his back, his trust, and now his heart. Right there in her hands.
There wasn’t a piece left of Hawk that Ali hadn’t laid claim to. He’d been in love before, but he’d never beenherebefore. He wasn’t just dreaming of a future with Ali, he could feel it, taste it, see it.
He’d had enough experience with dream girls to know that Ali was the real deal. What he felt for her wasn’t a frenzied, immature lust. It was sure and steady, built on a foundation of friendship and respect, and had the depth to go the distance.
He just wasn’t sure, with their past and her family, what kind of path to expect. At her core, Ali was a pleaser, taking on the role of peacemaker for her family. A quality that he respected as much as he feared. Because Ali would do anything to hold her family together—even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness in the process.
“Will you hold me?” she whispered, her voice a soft cry that vibrated through his chest.
He ran a hand down her back and pulled her close, cradling her against him. “For as long as you want, sunshine.”
“Just until I fall asleep.”
“Then how about I hold you for as long as I want?” he asked, and she nodded, her tears falling on his shoulder.
He’d never heard someone pour out that kind of emotion without making a sound. Her body shook, her breath came in anguished puffs, but he couldn’t hear the grief. He could feel it; it was rolling off her in waves, silent waves. It was as if she was afraid that giving it a voice would make it real. Or alert someone to her vulnerability.
After a long moment, she tilted her face up, her eyes so sad, his soul ached to erase the pain.
“Hawk?” Her voice was hoarse and raw.
He traced her tears with his thumb. “Yeah, sunshine.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
God, she knew how to break his heart with a simple question. She’d had so many people walk out on her, she didn’t know what to do if someone actually stayed. “If I’m lucky, I’ll get to wake up next to you every morning from here on out.”
“I’d like that,” she whispered.
Hawk tilted his head down and gently kissed her forehead, then whispered, “Now sleep.”
She closed her eyes and Hawk rubbed her back, steady and melodic, until he felt her breathing even out and her body relax into his. It was strange, how someone so different could fit perfectly into his arms.
Into his life.
***
Normally when Hawk was invited to a woman’s house for a sleepover, sleeping was not the main objective. Yet there he was, sporting the hard-on of a lifetime, with Ali cradled into the crook of his arm, content to just watch her sleep.
Not that he could move even if he’d wanted to—which he most certainly did not—since his arm had gone numb about three hours ago. But having her this close, all warm and soft, pressing into his body, was driving him batshit crazy. She needed sleep, and he needed—well…
He needed her to move her hand a breath south, bringing a whole lot of good into his morning.
Hawk had convinced himself that this insane attraction stemmed from forbidden fruit—a bad case of the one who got away. It had been the basis of their ruse.
A fun fauxmance was all this would be, she’d said. And he’d bought into it. But it was impossible to pretend for long when dealing with the realest woman on the planet. Ali was selfless, nurturing, and a woman who deserved the best kind of forever. She put up a good front, distracted him with her tough-girl ’tude, but the longer their relationship went on, the more he realized what a big heart she had, and just how easy she was to fall for.
Ali had been a steady force in his world since high school. He couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t around or in his thoughts. Good times. The bad ones. Around her, he’d never felt alone.
Even during the divorce, Hawk remembered the deep ache that came with the knowledge that he just might lose Ali in the process. In fact, he’d been more concerned with coming back to Destiny Bay and building his relationship with her, than staying in the town where he’d built connections and a career.
And watching her now, sleeping in his arms, he knew why. She was special, as much a part of him as his career had been—as his mom. Ali felt like family. She got to him unlike anyone else, and she got to him in ways he’d never expected.
