Page 26 of Every Little Kiss
“Avery said a summer fling, not matching headstones,” Grace reminded her.
“And being in different phases makes this perfect.” Avery shook her cupcake at Liv. “Remember when we sat in my hospital room while waiting for the transplant results and made a promise? We vowed we were going to stop letting fear and outside limitations decide our future. To go after life at full speed and find some happiness.” Avery’s tone was soft but serious. “I believed you, so much that I dove in without looking and found my way. I found Ty.” She took Liv’s hand. “Now it’s your time.”
“Ford is not my Ty, and I barely have time to breathe. And what about her?” Liv pointed at Grace. “She was there too.”
“Don’t throw me under the bus just because you know she’s right,” Grace said defensively. “But if it makes you feel better, we can tackle my disaster of a life right after you find your smile.” Grace’s hand went in a circle to encompass Liv’s face. “And I’m not talking about the plasticeverything’s peachyone you give everyone around town. But a real one, like you wore a second ago when you were talking about Man Cub. I’m not saying a fling is the answer, but you need to make a bold step.”
“I dropped Paxton off at summer camp even though he was one blink away from a meltdown. That’s a bold step.” One that had her looking at her watch.
Avery’s hand came to rest over the face of Liv’s watch. “You have twenty minutes until you need to go back to being Supermom. Right now we’re talking about you being bold.”
“Bold is convincing my scared, crying kid it will be okay and driving off while his little eyes followed me out of the parking lot ...” Liv swallowed down the overwhelming sense of helplessness that had haunted her all day. “I told him it would be a great day, even though I knew it would suck.”
“That is a bold mommy move,” Grace agreed quietly, her eyes a little misty. “I wouldn’t have been strong enough to drive off.”
Liv’s went misty too, because Grace knew just how painful the inability to protect a child could cut. She had tried for years to have a family, only to have her dream of motherhood end seconds before it was supposed to begin. It took days for her to admit her baby was gone and months for the sorrow to fade enough to leave her house. In the end, Grace found herself divorced and childless, in a home built for a family.
“I almost turned around,” Liv admitted.
“But you didn’t—you showed him that you believe in his strength. So even if it’s an awful day, he has the confidence that he can push through it,” Avery said. “And before you know it, he’ll be jumping out of the car, excited to see his friends.”
“What if he doesn’t?” Liv asked, as terrified that day would never come as she was that it would.
“He will. The more he steps out of his comfort zone, the more he’ll come to understand that sucky days happen, just like magical ones.” Avery leaned in, her tone careful. “It’s going to be up to you, though, to show him it’s okay to wish for the magical ones. And to enjoy them when they come.”
“What does that mean?” Liv said, her voice a little cutting. Because she worked hard to make every day magical for Paxton, and her friends sounded as if she were holding him back.
And that hurt.
Avery and Grace were her two closest friends. Had been since Liv started at the hospital. Avery had been in long-term care waiting on a kidney, Grace had suffered a shocking miscarriage, and Liv had buried her husband. They’d connected over cupcakes and bonded over loss, eventually promising to be one another’s lifelines.
Although right then, it felt as if they were lifting the rope just out of reach.
“Only that you deserve some magic.” Avery’s face softened. “I survived because I received a kidney transplant, but I am living because my mom showed me how to be more than a survivor—she showed me how to be a warrior,” Avery said, her voice so full of conviction Liv felt her chest swell. “That was her biggest gift to me. And it’s a gift you can give Paxton.”
Avery took Liv’s hand. “You are an amazing mom and friend, and your devotion to Paxton is breathtaking. But you are more than a mom and a widow, just like he’s more than his condition. You deserve to have things in your life that make you happy.”
Liv wanted to be happy—she really did. But she didn’t know how to do that without losing focus. She’d pieced their lives back together like a patchwork quilt—she’d found a job, figured out how to change a flat and fix the garbage disposal, and even weathered two winters at high altitude. But happy? That still hadn’t happened.
“Which is why I want to volunteer to help with Wagon Days,” Liv offered. “I hear they need some extra hands. I happen to have two available.” She wiggled them for show.
Her friends looked at her as if she were crazy.
“What? It’s a great way to get involved in the community,” she defended.
“You do know that the State Line Seniors are hosting the first annual Carson City Campout and Carnival the same weekend as Wagon Days?” Grace asked.
“How is that an issue?”
“Because the State Line Seniors have been trying to one-up the Women of the Wagon Trail since the state line was drawn,” Avery pointed out. “They hired some fancy carnival company to bring in rides for the kids and a paintball alley for the teens and dads. They booked Adelle to perform and even got Cesar Millan as a judge for their Pets on Parade.”
“The dog whisperer to the stars?” Grace asked, shaking her head. “There goes the Wagon Days Darlings for the parade.”
“Did you say Adele?” Liv asked, wondering just how connected these State Line Seniors were—and how bad it would be if she found herself in Carson City.
“Adelle Lewis,” Mavis said from behind, a group of blue-haired biddies standing in her wake. “She was Miss Nevada 1956. Won her crown by maneuvering her baton and tassels in a perfect horizontal twirl. But her real claim to fame is her immunity to gravity.”
“With Adelle and her tassels, we’ll lose the Moose Lodge, Senior X-Treme, and the Sequoia Senior Guard,” Patty Moberly said, coming forward. “The carnival rides take away the families, and without them our parade is sunk, and LuLu has worked so hard.”
