Page 58 of Every Little Kiss
How could kissing another man feel so right when losing Sam had been so incredibly wrong?
“You want a second kiss, right?” Grace asked, sounding confused.
“I don’t know. The first one wasn’t a premeditated kiss—it just happened.” Even though he’d given her the chance to back out, the moment had already taken over. “But a second kiss would be a conscious decision.”
A decision that when made with a clear mind would carry a weight she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle just yet.
Her friends shared a look full of deep concern and worry. The one thing she hated more than being blindsided was making people worry about her. If Sam hadn’t been so worried about her, he would still be around.
“Nothing you do will ever take away from what you and Sam shared,” Grace said with gentle understanding. “He wasn’t your first kiss, and it would be a waste of a big heart like yours if he was your last.”
“He’s no longer my last, but I’m scared of what happens when he’s no longer my best,” she admitted, because Ford’s kiss had the power of a defibrillator—one zap could jump-start her heart.
“We’re scared that you’ll be so busy trying to do right by a man who is no longer here that you’ll end up focusing on what could have been instead of what might be,” Avery said.
“Trust me, surrounding yourself with memories isn’t any way to live,” Grace added, and Liv wanted to cry.
“Yes, it was Sam’s childhood home, but we never lived there together, so they aren’t my memories.” Even as she said the words, Liv knew they were a lie. She was living with Sam every day. He was in every picture, every room, every decision she made. His memory even shaped how she’d approached her new promotion.
How would Sam do it? What would Sam think? Look what Sam’s missing.
Her world was so full of Sam, there were times it didn’t feel as if there was room for Liv.
Only she hadn’t felt trapped with Ford. She’d felt free.
Problem was—attaching her freedom to a man who was destined to leave didn’t feel like the fresh start she was looking for.
Avery’s voice softened. “You once told me that I deserved to be happy, so now it is my turn. You, Liv Preston, deserve to be happy. Like glowing, you’re so happy. Sam would have wanted that for you. Even if it meant sharing a second smoking-hot kiss with a smoking-hot guy.”
Flutters took flight in her chest, and Liv had a hard time swallowing. Panic, hormones, and lust made for one complicated mess of emotions fighting for domination.
And just when she felt as if she were going to hyperventilate, Grace took her hand. “I did the intense forever thing too and got burned. Maybe not in the same way, but the loss was as painful. Wouldn’t it be nice to experience the other side of dating? The side that doesn’t have to be anything other than fun. No commitments, no expectations, no hurt feelings. All the benefits without the baggage.”
While the thought of dating a rugged mountain man sounded exhilarating, a date with a kind man who made her laugh sounded equally as terrifying. Because while the first would be another small step toward moving on, Liv hadn’t had a first date in so long this might as well have been her maiden sail.
And while she was open to a little putter around the lake to get herself reacquainted, she knew that with Ford it would be like chartering a speedboat set for open seas.
“I don’t even know if he wants a second kiss,” Liv said. “Which is why I’m going to just go with the flow and not obsess—that’s the plan.”
“Said every old cat lady ever.” Avery reached out and loosened Liv’s ponytail. “Your plan is going to land you in the friend zone.”
Liv thought about how natural she’d felt with Ford, how easy it was to be around him, and found herself smiling. “You say that like friends is a bad thing.”
“It is if you want to be kissed again.” Avery gave Liv’s hair a fluff and pulled it around her shoulders. “Now, what were you wearing?”
“A T-shirt and jeans.”
“What happened to the dress we picked out the other day?”
“I was going hiking. It would have clashed with my boots.” She left out the part where she’d canceled their date in a text.
Avery let out a long-winded sigh. “I’m surprised that with your Mom-A-Licious shirt, his dog wasn’t the only thing jumping you.”
“I didn’t wear my Mom-A-Licious shirt.” She’d worn her#LIKEAMOMshirt. “And my jeans make my waist look tiny and my butt look twenty.” For a woman who was a few months away from being called midthirties, that was something to be proud of.
“Next time wear that blue top with the tiny straps that says ‘I want to be kissed.’”
Liv knew the top she was talking about and felt a small thrill at the way the silk would slide against her skin. “The one I wore to your bachelorette party?”
