Page 74 of Hopeless Romantic
“As long as you didn’t see or hear any of that, I’m okay.” She walked closer and looked up at him. “Please tell me you just now walked in.”
“I followed you inside.”
She looked at the ceiling. “Can we pretend the night ended with that kiss in your truck, you drove off, and we forget the rest?”
“Not sure I can.” He pushed off the wall. “Definitely not comfortable driving off until I know you’re okay.”
“Is this your way of angling for another kiss?” she teased. When he didn’t so much as grin, she went still. “You’re serious?”
He stood with his feet shoulder-distance apart, his arms crossed so tightly his biceps bulged, and a stubborn set to his jaw. He was dead serious.
“You’re worried because of what happened with my dad?”
“I’m not going to lie—there were moments.”
She wasn’t sure how to respond. Levi was, by nature, a fiercely protective man when it came to those closest to him. That he placed her in the same category as Annie or Paisley was touching. That he thought her dad could ever hurt her was frustrating, if not a little embarrassing.
She could only imagine what had gone through his mind watching everything unfold. The assumptions he must have made about her dad, about her family . . .
“Levi, my dad would never hurt anyone. He’s the gentlest man I know,” she said. “Just because he suffers from Asperger’s doesn’t mean he’s a bad dad or violent.”
“Of course it doesn’t.” Levi reached out and took her hand, slowly tugging her close. “But I heard the sadness in your voice when he blamed tonight’s problems on you.”
“He didn’t—”
“Mean to,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around her. “I know, but the result was the same.”
“You don’t understand,” she whispered into his chest.
He tilted his head down, meeting her gaze. “Then help me understand, because it bothers me that you’ve been conditioned to believe your needs aren’t as important as other people’s.”
“They’re not more important than mine, they’re just more immediate. There’s a difference,” she tried to explain, a familiar and unwelcome awkwardness pushing her buttons and twisting her tongue.
There were a lot of ridiculous myths surrounding autism, which made it difficult for some to understand how an autistic person could be a good parent. Normally, she wouldn’t care what anyone thought, but with Levi, it was different.
He was different, so she desperately wanted to extinguish any myths he’d heard. Fortunately for Beckett, myths were, by definition, untrue. And while her dad might hit on a sensitive spot from time to time, if he had any idea that he’d hurt her feelings, he’d feel awful. And while he might not show it like other dads, he loved her.
Why it was so important that Levi understood was still a mystery, but her need to explain away his fears went bone-deep. “Imagine growing up in a house with two people who weren’t born with a filter,” she began. “There’s a misconception that people on the spectrum don’t feel emotion—that’s so far from the truth. They experience things on a level we can’t even imagine, emotions, sounds, energy. They just don’t use the same words or outlets we’re used to. Tonight was a toxic combination of no schedule and overstimulation. What they said—” She took a breath. “They don’t mean to be dismissive or hurt my feelings.”
He tipped up her chin. “But they do. I can see the hurt in your eyes, and it breaks my heart.”
She was a little breathless over his words. “My dad’s an amazing musician who pays his bills on time, owns his house and truck outright, and puts every penny I pay in rent into an account for me that he thinks I don’t know about. His reason? When I move out, I’ll have a nice nest egg to put down on a place of my own. He helped me start my business, never complains about the animals I parade through the house, and cries when we watch rom-coms. He can’t help it if cooking and helping around the house just aren’t his strong suit.”
He cupped her chin and tilted it up to meet his gaze. “A smart and very sexy woman recently told me that practice makes perfect.”
“Sexy?” She nuzzled closer, loving how she felt in his arms.
“And caring, special, and so incredibly deserving.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Make sure people treat you accordingly.”
She placed her hands on his chest. “You’re just saying that because you saw me get my ass handed to me by red jellybeans and a Beatles timer.”
“I said that because it’s the truth. You deserve a little of that peace and quiet, too.” He studied her with those assessing eyes. “Now, I promised you a fun night, and that doesn’t include you cleaning the house by yourself. So how about you order up some pizza, while I start on the kitchen.”
“I don’t need to be taken care of, Levi,” she said.
“I like that about you.” He wrapped his arms around her. “But needing and wanting are two different things. And there are times I’ll want to take care of the woman I’m with. Not because I think she’s weak, but because I want to make her happy.”
“You want me to be the woman you’re with?” she asked, finding it hard to breathe.
