Page 11 of Chasing I Do
“What if you are risking something even bigger?” Jillian asked gently. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else to count on? Someone else who loves Kylie as much as you do? Jerry might be a cheating jerk with a bad case of slippery dick syndrome, but Sam lights up every time his dad picks him up for their weekends.”
Darcy swallowed hard. She knew what it was like to grow up in a single parent household. Her earliest memories were of having dry cereal for dinner because it was all that was in the house, and tucking herself in at night because her mom was working—or out at the bars spending her paycheck.
Between holding down two jobs and looking for the next man to latch onto, Darcy’s mom was usually so tired, something had to take a back seat. Sadly, it was often Darcy.
Which was why Darcy went into parenthood determined to be an amazing mom. Having a family was what she’d always wanted. More than anything. She couldn’t imagine a life without Kylie.
But did Kylie wonder what a life with a dad might be like? Darcy had. Not having a father had left a giant hole in her childhood, and she was determined that Kylie would always have enough.
Enough food. Enough clothes. Enough love.
“They don’t want me,” she admitted, hating how bad it still burned. “They want to bring in an outside planner, and you know how temperamental the house is. You have to bang the AC just to get it started, and if someone doesn’t jiggle the upstairs toilet handle, it will fill up the septic tank.”
Dead silence. “The AC and a toilet is the reason you turned down a wedding that could get you close to breaking even on this place?”
“Yes,” Darcy lied.
Jillian shot her a skeptical look, but played along. “Well, then if that is your only concern, counter their offer. Tell Gage you need a bigger deposit, or that you are a non-negotiable part of the deal. Belle Mont House isn’t the magic ingredient to captivating romance, you are, so let them know that. This is your house and your dream. Don’t miss out because of something some guy from your past did. He’s taken enough from you and Kylie.”
“Thanks,” Darcy said, wiping the emotion forming in the corner of her eyes away. “I needed to hear that.”
“Mom-my,” Kylie’s voice came from down the hall. “I’m rea-dy.”
Darcy gave her friend a long hug. Drying her eyes, she walked into the house and into Kylie’s bedroom. Painted a light blue with green grass, a dog mural, and paw print trim, it was the only room that had been remodeled in the cottage. And sitting on the bed with a doghouse bedframe was her daughter, cuddled up with her favorite stuffed animal.
“Lights out time.” Darcy reached for the switch.
“But we haven’t played High-Low yet,” Kylie said, referring to the game they played every night at the dinner table. “And we always play High-Low.”
Darcy looked at her watch and sighed. She needed to get back to the wedding. She’d already been gone longer than expected. But her daughter needed a few more minutes of her attention, and Darcy needed one more hug, so she sat on the corner of the mattress. “Okay, high first.”
“Auntie Jillian took us to the harbor to see the sea lion babies, and after she bought us an ice cream,” Kylie said with a sneaky smile. “A double scoop too, for big girls. And it had gumballs in it that turned my tongue colors.” Her tongue peeked out, and even though it was back to pink, Darcy covered her heart with her hand, and gasped.
“I can see that. It matches your pajamas,” Darcy said, and Kylie beamed. “Now low?”
“She made broccoli with dinner and I had to eat the whole plate full.” Kylie’s face puckered like she’d sucked on lemon, then tugged her stuffed dog toward her.
“A whole plate full, huh?” Darcy teased, knowing Jillian put four pieces of broccoli on her plate—one for every year old Kylie was. “That is pretty awful.”
“Your turn.”
“Easy. Watching you twirl.” She tapped Kylie’s nose, which crinkled at the touch. “The worst part? That’s harder. Hmmmm…”
The whom was easy. Gage. Their meeting had been so disappointing she still felt the ache in her chest. Now, deciding which part of the impromptu meet was the most disappointing was the part that had Darcy waffling.
The cold way he’d looked at her earlier had reminded her of how she felt right after Kyle died. Scared, alone, unwanted. And just when she though it couldn’t get any worse, he’d dropped that threat on her in a calculated move that was so reminiscent of Kyle in their last few months together, she felt as if she were reliving the heartache all over.
It made her question if she’d gotten everything wrong. If her judgement was so incredibly bad when it came to men that she’d, once again, made a hero out of a self-centered jerk. Not that she would tell Kylie that, but she wouldn’t lie either.
“I ran into an old friend and it left me feeling sad,” Darcy finally said.
“Oh,” Kylie said, her little face soft with concern. “Because you miss them?”
“Yeah, honey.” She did miss Gage. Missed their talks, their inside jokes, the way he’d tell her everything would work out.
Nothing had turned out the way they’d expected. But it had turned out exactly how it was supposed to. And even though Darcy had gone through hell to get to where she was, she wouldn’t trade one second of her life with Kylie.
“I miss how things used to be,” she said. “But I love how things are now. I love you, honey.”
