Page 38 of Chasing I Do
“Kylie talked nonstop about her uncle last night. How you played dress up, twirled her until she got dizzy, and taught her to tie her shoes. By dinner, every single one of my shoes were laced up and double knotted. Even the drapes ended up becoming bunny ears at one point.” She swallowed. “And when you showed up here, I was still riding the high of a great day, of sharing it with someone else who cares about her, and I let myself give in to the romance of it.”
“The romance of it?”
“Watching you with her, remembering how close we used to be, finding that same security that always came with being around you.” She shrugged. “I gave in to it.”
“So, you’re blaming it all on nostalgia?”
“Yes.” God, why hadn’t she spiked her mocha?
“You mean instead of strategizing how to make my first move back in college, all I had to do was give you my class ring and playThe Summer of ‘69?”
Darcy looked up, totally and completely stunned. “You wanted to kiss me back in college?”
Gage moved in close enough that he was invading her space, filling the air until every time she breathed and all she could smell, all she could taste, was him. “I’ve been dreaming about kissing you since that first day in calculus when you were in that blue top and black pencil skirt.”
“And pink panties?”
“Nah, it was before I got to discover all of Victoria’s secrets.”
They had been her power panties, bought to make her feel sexy and feminine. The rest of the outfit had set her back a whole paycheck, but Darcy had finally managed to escape her childhood, and she wanted to start her new life off right. Make an impression. And Gage had not only noticed. He’d wanted to kiss her.
“But you were dating Cheryl,” she said.
“Then we broke up, but by that time you had me so far into the friend zone I knew it would take a while to dig myself out. So when Kyle wanted to take you out, I agreed. I didn’t think it would turn into anything serious. You were still dealing with your mom’s death, and Kyle, well he’d never done serious in his life. But then—”
His eyes drifted to her lips, and her body tingled as if he were already kissing her.
“It got serious?” she added.
“Yeah, so I backed off, because he seemed to make you happy. And more than anything, I wanted you to be happy.” He cupped her cheek “But you weren’t happy, were you?”
And suddenly those tingles turned to lead in her belly. “You talked to your mom?”
His expression didn’t change, but his eyes hardened, enough to know that Margo had finally spoken, and Gage needed answers.
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter.” Needing to breathe, she stood and walked to the end of the porch.
The sun was up and cars were beginning to clog the streets of downtown. It was no longer still and quiet on her hill. The world was moving around her, and she was exactly where she’d been five years ago. Carrying a huge secret with only an Easton to confide in.
Gage came up next to her and rested his elbows on the porch rail. She waited in silence—heavy suffocating silence, for him to ask the question she’d knew he’d come here to ask. To hear the story that would force him to rethink the past, question his future, and contemplate the truth.
Darcy prepared herself for the disappointment, because at this point the truth didn’t matter. He would ask her side of the story, then compare it to what he believed Kyle’s to be, so he could come up with his own truth. It was what Margo had done, Kyle’s mistress had done, and for Gage to do it would break her heart.
“It does matter because I should have known,” Gage said softly. “I should have known something was up. You’d never walk out on someone. Ever. Not without a damn good reason.”
Her heart caught. “How do you know I’m not lying?”
“Because I know you,” he said, tilting her face toward his with his finger. And the absolute conviction in his expression forced her throat to close. “I know that Kyle must have really fucked up to lose your loyalty, because you are the most loyal person I have ever met. You’re wary about who you trust, but once you hand over your trust, you go all in.”
“We just weren’t the right fit.”
Gage let his head fall. “No, you had every reason to walk, and every reason to let him take the fall, but you didn’t. Even now you aren’t willing to sell him out.” Gage looked up, and his eyes were a mixture of anger and a regret so deep she felt it all the way to her soul. “He wasn’t your fit, Darcy. Not the other way around.”
No one had ever said that to her. Well, her friends after the fact, but they didn’t know Kyle. When she walked away from that wedding, she walked away from everyone in her life. Because at that time her friends were Kyle’s friends—and she didn’t want them to choose.
Mainly because she didn’t want Kylie stuck in the middle, but partly because she’d never been chosen. She thought she’d been Kyle’s choice, but even that turned out to be a lie.
“I don’t want this to cloud your memories of him, and I don’t want Kylie ever hearing about any of this. As far as she knows, she had a dad who loved her and would have done anything to be with her.” Darcy closed her eyes and let the truth of the moment hit her. “Which is why we can’t give in to this thing between us.”
