Page 55 of Chasing I Do
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Hands shaking, Darcy stared at the letter, unable to make out the words. She could see each symbol, even knew what they were, but she couldn’t put them together to form the actual words. Maybe it was her heart that wouldn’t let her because it was slowly breaking.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Kylie asked, wrapping her little arms around Darcy’s leg and resting her head against her hip like she used to. She hadn’t done that since the first day of preschool last year, and Darcy had thought she’d outgrown leg hugs.
But there she was, doing it again, and all Darcy could do was stare at the summons to appear at a hearing. A hearing to discuss custody of Kylie. Her Kylie, who she had raised from birth and never gone a full day without seeing.
Without hugging.
“Don’t worry about this,” Gage said, not sounding surprised.
Why wasn’t he surprised? And why did he look so calm?
It had felt like a one-two-punch to Darcy, the blast so unexpected she wanted to sit down. Right there in the grass. But Kylie was giving her a leg hug, and she didn’t want it to stop.
“Darcy, I will handle this, I promise,” he said, the determination in his voice so fierce she wanted to believe him. But the words she was finally starting to understand said that she couldn’t.
“Why is your mom suing me?” she said, her voice stronger than she felt.
“I don’t know.” He took the paper and read it over. “She’s suing for custody of Kylie?”
“Mommy,” Kylie said, her voice thin, and close to tears. “Sammy said his dad got custody and he has to do sleepovers on some weekends. I don’t want to stay with his daddy on weekends.”
Darcy got down on her knees and took Kylie in her arms. “You’re not going anywhere, honey. I promise you. Now go in the house and see if we have any cupcakes left over for dinner.”
“I don’t want cupcakes.” Her little breath was coming in short bursts. “I want to stay with you.”
“I’ll be right behind you, I just have to go tell that man he delivered the letter to the wrong house.”
“You’ll give it back?” she sniffed.
“I’ll give it back,” Darcy said with a smile, even though it was so tight she was afraid it would crack. But Kylie wasn’t upset about the letter, she didn’t even understand the letter, she was upset because Darcy was upset.Time to pull it together. “Now, go on and get those cupcakes ready and maybe we can watch 101 Dalmatians while we eat them.”
“Kay,” she said and walked toward the cottage.
Darcy watched as her daughter trudged up the front steps and into the house, waiting until the door shut, all the while Darcy’s heart was breaking.
“I swear to God, Darcy, I had no idea.”
She spun around, this time not trying to mask her anger. The fear, she hid that, only to be pulled out later tonight when Kylie was asleep and Darcy was alone.
“Then why does it say,” she snatched the summons back, “Mother is overwhelmed and admitted to struggling to take care of child’s wellbeing?” She looked back at Gage, everything inside of her willing him to come up with some answer to explain away the hurt. An answer that would make everything okay, and bring them back to how it had been only minutes ago.
But he didn’t explain it away, didn’t tell her it was a misunderstanding. He ran a hand down his face, that beautiful face Darcy had trusted with her kid’s life.
“She twisted my words. I was telling her what a great mom you were, reassuring her that she’d get to meet Kylie and…” he faded off. “I am so fucking sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” She slammed the papers against his chest. “Sorry doesn’t take back these words that are printed, that Kylie could someday find and wonder if they were true. Wonder if she’d somehow done something to overwhelm her mom to the point that she struggled to raise her. Because I know that burden, Gage. And I have worked my ass off so that Kylie would never have to carry that.”
“She doesn’t have a case,” he said as if it made a difference. “This is just her way of, well, being Margo.”
“Do you think I give a shit about this hearing?” Angry tears burned her eyes. “I care that my little girl is upset. I care that the man I trusted used my words against me. Words I said to him in an intimate setting. We were about to make love when I said those words. Or at least that’s what I thought it was.”
He stood there, silent, and she was certain it was because he could see the disappointment tighten around her neck, watch the pain cut right through her chest. Piercing her heart and leaving nothing unmarked.
“I can fix this,” he pleaded, sounding heartbreakingly desperate. “Don’t let her ruin this. Ruin us. I made a mistake.”
“Sometimes things slip, accidents happen. But I was clear up front about my concerns. I thought I had made it so nothing like this could happen again.” She met his gaze, her own so watery he was a blur. “So that you couldn’t possibly let me down.”
