Page 40 of Summer Affair
“I was young, still in college.”
“Jesus, how old was he?”
“We’re eleven years apart, so thirty-four.” He did not like that answer. “My grandma had just passed, I was feeling alone, so when he pulled me out of oblivion, I felt seen for the first time in a long time. It’s hard to believe now, but when he was younger, he was charming and devoted when he had his eyes set on something. And that year, his eyes were set on me and made me feel as if I was the center of his whole world.”
Until she wasn’t. Then she was left alone to figure out a new direction for herself.
“And the next year?”
“By the next year, we had problems, which grew exponentially by the following year. Then I got pregnant, and he had a new intern who didn’t look like a beached whale.”
“I think you look amazing. Every time I’ve been in a room with you, you’re the only woman I look at.”
She rolled her eyes. “Genuine, remember. You couldn’t have picked me out in the crowd.”
His expression turned very serious. “The first time I saw you, you were wearing white jeans, a purple apron and you had a little bit of frosting on you.” He leaned in and touched her cheek. “Right here.”
“Oh,” she breathed.
“Yeah, oh.”
If that didn’t send her head spinning, then the heat in his eyes did. He meant every word of what he’d just said, and Jillian didn’t know how she felt about that. It was okay when she thought he didn’t know she existed, it was another to know he’d been aware of her the entire time.
“Have you ever come close to marriage?” she asked.
“Once, but it was a wrong person–wrong time situation.” There was more to the story, but she could tell it was off-limits. “Have you ever come close again?”
“You mean with Ken?” They both laughed. “No, I don’t think I ever will.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I ever want to get married again,” she said, surprising him and herself. She’d known from the moment she filed for divorce that marriage was off the table for her. But she’d never voiced it before. “Is that weird? To believe in love but not marriage? At least not for me.”
“What’s right for you is right for you,” he said so lowly she barely heard him over the background noise.
And then because she began to feel a little shy and exposed, she said, “On to Occupation. Did you always know football was your thing?”
“No, I wanted to be a fighter pilot, but when I was six I found out I was colorblind.”
“My heart aches for six-year-old Clay.”
He chuckled. “Oh, six-year-old Clay quickly volleyed and football became his thing. I think that’s why Rhett and I are so close. We both knew from an early age what we wanted and then went after it, to the detriment of the other parts of our lives.”
“Do you think that’s what happened between Rhett and his wife?”
“Nah. I think it had more to do with Steph going into it with unmeetable expectations. She thought she knew the life she was marrying into, and when expectation and reality didn’t meet up, she bailed.”
The way he said it, the emotion and vehemence in his tone, told Jillian that Rhett wasn’t the only one to be forced to choose between love and career.
Jillian really looked at him and it was the first time she saw a flicker of loneliness in his gaze. She’d never considered how hard his career would be. Unless they found a wife willing to pack up and move whenever they were traded, pro athletes were destined to live a life without the everyday wonders of family and physical love. She wondered if that was part of the reason he came home so often, for the hugs and comradery of his family.
Their round came and he took a sip and grimaced, then asked the server for a beer. Jillian laughed. “So s’more-tinis aren’t your thing?”
“I think I’ll stick to something that comes out of a tap.” He slid his drink her way and Jillian’s eyes got big. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had three cocktails. Thank goodness she’d taken an Uber. Well, Uncle Eddie had given her a ride and only charged her for a tip. “Now you. Did you always want to be a Cake Goddess?”
“A goddess? Doesn’t every woman,” she teased. “A baker? It wasn’t even on my radar until I became a single mom. Now I can’t imagine doing anything else. What do you like to do for fun?”
“Have we hit the recreation portion of the evening?”
