Page 5 of Summer Affair
RESOLUTIONS FROM JILLIAN’S JOURNAL
Stop worrying about what other people
think of you. It’s none of your business.
Jillian’s heart was thumping painfully against her ribs, making it impossible to breathe. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why would you think something’s wrong?” Dirk sounded offended that she’d even imply that he couldn’t parent like a good father. “I was calling because I won’t be home until late, and Nikki can’t handle both kids by herself.”
Nikki was his new, twenty-something wife who had triple Ds, the ass of a cheerleader, and zero interest in being a stepmom. “What’s to handle? I fed and bathed him before I dropped him off.”
“He wants to watchThe Lion King, but it’s too scary for Bentley.”
“Bentley is two, I would definitely agree.” How had she married this guy? Right, she’d been young and naive, and he’d been older and sophisticated, and she’d fallen for him hook, line and sinker. “So watch it after Bentley goes down.”
“After she puts Bentley down, Nikki has her Me Time,” he explained, and she felt her blood begin to boil.
This was Jillian’s Me Time. Her one week in over six months where the only thing she had to worry about was which kind of wine she wanted. She hadn’t even poured a second glass and already Dirk was ruining her evening. On purpose.
This wasn’t about working late or even Nikki, this was about control pure and simple. And when holding it over Jillian’s head, he didn’t hesitate to use their son as leverage.
“You need to figure it out, Dirk. Your scheduling issues aren’t my problem.”
He ignored her, instead saying something else about how hard it’s been for his new wife to adapt to motherhood with their new son, Bentley, but Jillian was overtly aware that because he was shouting, his voice was carrying in the wind for everyone on her block to overhear.
Everyone being Clay. It wasn’t a secret that she was divorced from a dick of an ex, but not many people knew just how awful her ex was. Even after three years, Jillian still found herself embarrassed by her choice in men. Not only as a wife but, more importantly, as a mother.
Dirk had given her the most precious thing in her world, but she’d given Sammy an absent and selfish father. And for that, she’d always be ashamed.
She stepped further away and lowered her voice. “He wants to watch it with you, Dirk. Not Nikki.”
“Here’s the thing, I’m prepping for a big meeting on Friday so Sammy hanging here this week won’t work.”
“Sammy’s not hanging there, he’s sleeping in his own bed at his dad’s house. This is your week, the one you demanded so I didn’t put him in camp, and I have work that I can’t miss.”
“Let’s be real. I miss this meeting and the company loses tens of millions. You run behind and some kid doesn’t get his birthday cake.”
Jillian felt her face heat. “Since we’re being real, there is nowehere, Dirk. The judge bought your whole ‘I’m a struggling small business owner, who, on paper, makes less than a kindergarten teacher,’ sowedon’t stand to lose anything. Our son, however, has been talking about sleeping at your place since school let out. He even told his friends about your new pool and how they can come over for a swim date. Don’t do this.”
“Plans change, it happens.” After ten years of marriage, she knew how quickly plans changed once Dirk became bored. “Plus, our sailing trip is just around the corner.”
A sailing trip with Nikki’s family, where Sammy would be gone for an entire month. Jillian was happy for her son to have that kind of time with his dad, but deep inside she was terrified about Sammy having that kind of time with his dad for a whole month.
Dirk wasn’t in the running for Father of the Year, and four weeks was a long time for him to maintain focus. Since it was clear Nikki wouldn’t be an asset, Dirk parenting solo was problematic at best. But a big part of the fear was that the longest she and Sammy had ever been apart was a week.
Usually after a few days Dirk was done. So she was shocked when he even asked to take Sammy with his family 2.0, especially since he’d made it clear that he preferred his new family to his original. Including Sammy. As was clear by the cavalier way he talked about canceling his time with his son.
“He’s been practicing swimming in the deep end, and he wants to show his friends how his dad taught him to jump off the diving board.”
“You teach him how to jump off your diving board.”
“It’s not the diving board, Dirk, it’s you. He wants to show off for you.”
“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy here, Jillian.”
She snorted. Throughout their entire marriage, Dirk made Jillian the bad guy, even blaming her for the divorce and telling Sammy his mother was the reason their family was breaking apart. Never once mentioning that he’d had an affair—or how he rarely came home.
“You do enough of that on your own,” she said and regretted it immediately. Dirk was looking for a reason to end the conversation. And she’d given him one.
