Page 68 of Summer Affair
“We aren’t that far apart in age now, Jillian.”
“I know that.”
He looked at her until it was her turn to squirm and studied her hand, which had been running over his chest.
He crooked a finger beneath her chin and tilted her gaze to his. “Sometimes I get the feeling it’s a thing for you.”
“Isn’t it a thing for you?” The vulnerability in her voice killed him.
No hesitation, just a single, “No, it’s not. Is it for you?”
“It was, but it isn’t anymore.”
“Good.” He rolled her over so that she was under him, her legs over his and bent at the knee. Then he kissed her. He kept it soft and tender and slow. It was about contact and trust, about just how much he cared for her.
Which was more than he wanted to admit right then. When he’d started this journey, it was supposed to be nothing more than a summer fling with a beautiful woman. There was no room in his life for anything other than the now. No strings, no feelings, no blending of worlds.
He was determined to compartmentalize the different aspects of his life: family, football, and fun. For a decade it worked perfectly, made for a smooth and easy-flowing life, and he didn’t want that to change. Only, over the past few weeks, little by little, Jillian began to bleed into every compartment.
It had him thinking about things better left alone. The thing about alone though, was that it was a lonely place to be. With Jillian, he felt a connection that somehow bound his worlds together—and that was bad. Really bad.
Attachments led to distractions, which led to focus issues. And he needed to be laser-focused on the goal. Football. But he’d began to think that maybe there was room for a little fun—not the forever kind but theuntil I leavekind.
“I’m having a barbeque at the house,” he heard himself say. “My whole family will be there, and Kylie and I were wondering if you and Sammy would want to join us.”
She hesitated. “With Sammy there, it would have to be as friends, and we couldn’t—”
“I know.” But even as he said it his eyes dropped to her lips. “I thought about what you said earlier, about what I want, and I realized I want more time with my family. I won’t get a chance like this anytime soon, so I want to take advantage of the situation.”
At the mention of their expiration date, his heart gave a tiny pinch.
“No pressure. If you’re busy or have other plans, I get it,” he said, realizing he was actually nervous she’d say no. Not because she didn’t want to, but because of Sammy. And even though he knew the situation was different, he couldn’t help but compare it to Veronica and her lack of faith in him to be a solid father figure.
Jesus, where did that thought come from? He wanted to be the kind of man Sammy looked up to, and he’d go out of his way to never hurt the kid in any fashion. But a father figure? He was suffering from spectacular-sex brain.
And then because he’d started talking, he said, “If it helps sway you, I’m making some of my dad’s homemade ice cream for dessert.”
Her teeth sank into her low lip, worrying it, then she gave a bright smile. “I can bring a cake.”
“All you need to bring is you. And maybe that blue bikini. We can spend the day in the pool and have an early dinner. Then the kids can watch a movie and the adults can play some cards.”
“I won’t be able to get there until three or four.”
“Then I’ll start looking out the window for you at three.”
“Too bad,” she said. “I usually start at seven when you begin your morning swim.”
“Oh. Trust me, I know.”
Chapter Nineteen
Resolutions from Jillian’s Journal
To be the reason someone looks at
their phone and smiles. Then
runs into a pole.
