Page 78 of Summer Affair
There. She’d said it. The real reason why she’d stayed single so long and kept that last line of defense between her and the what-could-be with Clay. Because she’d experienced firsthand that love wasn’t always enough and that sometimes it became a weapon used as leverage.
“I don’t want to change you.” He kissed the tip of her nose and a warm bead of possibilities began to grow in her chest, expanding slowly as his words settled in. “But I’m also terrified that if you wait for my career to wind down, you’ll regret your decision. I’ve been putting off what my future will be like after ball and I can’t ignore it anymore. I’m scared shitless about who I am without it. But one wrong move and it’s game over. Then what?”
“Whatever you want it to be,” she said. “Take it from someone who’s had her game-over moment. Who you are at your core is all that matters. I meant it when I said you’re a good man.”
“Around you, I feel as if I can be that man.”
She tightened their hands, holding them snugly against her chest. He curled his body closer to hers as though he was afraid of what would happen when the connection was severed. He was right, it would be hard.
“I’m terrified to leave here.” His words were raw and strained. “I don’t want to leave you.”
She understood that fear. Her life was here in Portland. His was an entire state away. They were at different stages in their lives, and their careers were both dependent upon their location. It was like standing on the opposite sides of a canyon. And while it took going down into the valley for their worlds to meet, she was willing to make the journey.
She brushed a kiss across his mouth. “Good. Because I don’t want to let go.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Resolutions from Jillian’s Journal
Thou shalt know what
thy deserve.
“Back in my day, all we got was a couple of bruises and maybe an orange slice if we were lucky,” Eddie said, skewering berries and melon for a fruit kebab, then sticking it into a holder fashioned from a repurposed spice rack.
“Did you also have to play in the sleet?” Jillian teased.
“Rain or shine, we didn’t move games due to a little drizzle.”
“There was a lightning advisory.” Or Mother Nature was giving Jillian a break since she was behind on a cake order and still had a laundry list of things to check off before bedtime.
“Just makes them move faster. Nothing gives a little incentive more than the threat of being electrocuted,” Eddie said, and Jillian refused to take the bait.
It was Monday morning, the morning of the Parent/Bullfrog game, which had been moved to Friday due to an unexpected summer storm. So the kids were going to be playing a team-building game in a nearby gymnasium.
Even though Jillian pointed out that no other assistant coaches were expected to provide snacks, Heather pointed out that Jillian had already committed and that modeling follow-through on previous commitments was the foundation of Tiny Tikes summer camp.
Jillian wanted to tell Heather where to shove her commitment but knew if she backed out, Heather would get stuck with the job. She also knew that because Clay was insisting on equal field time for all players, Heather’s son was riding the bench as much as the other kids—which ticked Heather off to no end.
While Clay didn’t care about parent drama, Jillian was nervous about the backlash affecting Sammy, so she decided to stay on as snack mom. Which was how she found herself in the kitchen at six in the morning making fruit skewers with Uncle Eddie, who was particularly grumpy.
Though she’d have to redo half of the kebabs he assembled, her smile remained big and bright.
It had started out as a grin on Sunday, after checking skinny-dipping and sex in a public place off her list. While her backyard wasn’t exactly a public place, it was as public as a mom having a summer affair on the down-low with a sexy sports stud could get. Then the grin became a full-fledged smile on Wednesday when she and Clay engaged in a round of late-night lovemaking via phone. And even though Clay had gone to Seattle for the weekend and the countdown to his big move was closing in, the smile lasted straight through Friday, when they shared a secret kiss behind the sports shed, which turned into a serious make-out session, followed by a few early morning quickies.
Which put them at today. And the time, T-minus ten minutes until breakfast, where Eddie had agreed to entertain Sammy so Jillian and Clay could enjoy a private morning picnic—preferably in his bed. She hadn’t seen him since Friday and she was looking forward to getting her hands—and lips—on him.
“Still can’t believe you’re letting that putz come.”
By putz, Eddie was referring to Dirk, who’d promised to come to the game on Friday to watch Sammy. It was funny what happened when her ex suddenly felt his position as Sammy’s role model being threatened. No matter how badly Jillian wanted to rip Dirk a new one, Sammy wanted to run on the field and show off his skills for his dad.
So rather than stirring up drama with Dirk, she bit her tongue. Because in the end this was about Sammy, who wanted nothing more than to have his dad there, and Jillian wanted what was best for her son.
Frustratingly, Dirk being more involved was what was best.
“You need to call him by his name. Not Putz or Meathead, and especially not Dick.” She whispered the last part. “I don’t want Sammy to overhear.”
“I give it two years until he realizes that his dad’s a putz.”
