Page 87 of Summer Affair
He thought about calling her, even grabbed his phone from the console, only to pocket it before climbing out of his car.
It was poker night with his brothers. Clay had zero interest in going, knowing that Gage would go on and on about how he needed to refocus on the game or that Rhett would lecture him about what was important—or Owen giving him shit for what went down with Jillian.
He wanted to punch somthing. Hard.
Clay walked into Gage’s place and the guys were already huddled around the table, each in their usual chair, but that was the only usual thing about the place. No scotch or tumblers, no poker chips stacked up—hell, there weren’t even cards on the table. In their place was a pink tea set, mini sandwiches cut in triangles, and glitter. A ton of glitter.
And on each of their heads was a sparkly tiara. Clay pulled out his phone and snapped a pic.
“Go ahead and post that,” Rhett said.” In about thirty seconds you’re going to be in a tiaraandtutu because the last to arrive has to be Elsa.”
Clay didn’t know what Elsa had to do with this, but based on the grimaces around the table, he imagined it was going to make one hell of an embarrassing photo, which his brotherswouldpost on social media. “Now, pick out a crown and take your seat.” That from Gage, who sounded dead serious.
Clay bit back a smile, then burst out laughing. An honest-to-god laugh that eased some of the pressure that had been building. Not a lot, but enough that he could take a full breath. “I’ll get right on that, Cinderella.”
“He’s Olaf. I’m Anna and you’re Elsa,” Kylie said, climbing out from beneath the table. She was wearing a princess dress with lots of poufy netting and sequins, a pair of ballet shoes, and holding a wand that glowed. “Sammy normally dances Elsa, but he’s gots to sweep in his own beds ’cuz Ms. Jillian said so.”
Had he known Ms. Jillian was going to be there, he would have canceled. It tore him up that she had to change plans because of his stupid ass. A weird tightening in his chest happened and the reality of what he’d done hit. He hadn’t just broken Jillian’s heart, he had broken their circle—and this circle was her family.
He knew that going in, but he didn’t really understand what Jillian was saying. Birthday parties, holidays, even family barbeques, if he was there, now she’d politely decline. And if she knew he was skipping it because of her she’d just start putting distance between her and her friends.
Shit.He’d done this.
“Look, I didn’t mean to screw with your plans.” He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m just going to head out.”
“But you can’ts weave yet,” Kylie said, sounding distressed. “You gots to twirl wif me.” Due to a missing front tooth, there was a little whistle that punctuated each S.
Feeling a bit panicked, he looked to Gage for help.
“Thursdays Jillian and Sammy have dinner with Eddie,” Gage said. “You’re good, bro.”
For today, but what about tomorrow? Or the next time he was in town.
He felt a tugging on his pant leg. “Do you knows how to twirl, Uncle Clay?”
And then because Clay didn’t want to disappoint anyone else that he loved in the world, he got down on a knee, sure to be at eye level with his niece, when he said, “Maybe you can teach me.”
Kylie gave a squeal of delight and then, in all her cuteness, put her hands above her head. With a smile as bright as the sun, she went up on her toes and twirled—three times. Each time made his heart clench more.
This. This was what he was missing out on. Tea parties with crowns and wands where his niece taught him how to play Elsa—a niece who looked up at him with this innocent sweetness that captured his heart. And this was what Jillian had built her life around—these people. His family was also hers.
“’Kay. Put your arms like this.” Kylie moved his arms above his head, then curled his hands in a ballerina pose. “Now all you gots to do is twirl.”
She showed him again, and again realization hit hard. Because of a string of selfish decisions his brother Kyle made, Clay’s entire family had missed a significant part of Kylie’s growing up. They’d missed first words, first steps, even her first dance recital. Those were out of Clay’s hands, but all the special firsts that came from here on out, those were on him to be there. And he’d just made everything harder on everyone.
Clay stood and, stuffing a tutu in each of his four pockets since one wouldn’t even fit his bicep, hit his pose. “Ready?” he asked, and Kylie giggled. “Go.”
And they went. Twirling all around the room, he followed Kylie’s lead. They circled the table twice, making a pit stop to kiss her dad on the cheek—Clay used the moment to give his older brother a raspberry—until Kylie was laughing so hard, she fell to the floor in a fit of giggles.
His brothers, they were laughing too—at him. But he didn’t care. Because when they finished, he picked Kylie up and tossed her over his shoulder, blowing tickle kisses to her neck. While he didn’t want to let her go, he noticed that she didn’t quite fit in his arms the way she used to. Her legs reached further down his chest, her little arms were longer, and she had more freckles over her nose and cheeks.
Twirling took his mind off of Jillian and how he’d blown it. And the look on her face, the one that ripped his heart out of his chest. He looked around the room and something ached deep inside. Nothing was the same. Not a damn thing. And it never would be.
Gage’s media room looked more like the inside of a dollhouse than a man cave. The display case that used to hold awards now held family photos and cheap plastic trophies that belonged to Kylie. Even though there were a few hundred channels to choose from, the television practically hadFrozenplaying around the clock. And his brothers were dressed like ballerinas and grinning like they were seated on the fifty-yard line at the Super Bowl, nudging each other in a familiar way that came from spending quality time shooting the breeze with each other.
Then there was Clay. Sitting in that room, looking at his brothers, he was taken back to those moments where they’d all gathered around at the bar and shared stories about their dad. Only this time, the gap between him and his family wasn’t because of age, it was because Clay hadn’t been around.
He made a shelf for Kylie with his arm, and she stopped squirming and put her hands on his cheeks. “You twirled really good.”
