Page 32 of Single Girl in the City
Her fight-or-flight instincts kicked in, making her want to fight and flight all the same time. As soon as the thought entered her mind, another bang echoed, the sound restricting her airways, leaving her dizzy and embarrassingly close to tears.
It’s just a panic attack, she reassured herself. But no amount of reassuring could hide the truth. Abi was broken to her core, and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to gather the shards of her life that had been left beside the road that day.
And in about two minutes everyone in that bar would know it. Including Owen.They’d know that she was losing her mind.
No, no, no. She was going to be sick.
Nausea roiled, a cold sheen beaded on her forehead, and her body instinctively curled in on itself. It felt like she was slowly suffocating. The counter closed in, pressing her back against the stool and further constricting her airway. She slid off the seat but when she reached the floor it seemed to slide right out from under her.
Then it flashed all around her, the crunching of shoes on rocky ground, the crackling of bending steel, and the screams of twenty kids who were looking at Abi to hold them, to protect them, to make it all better.
Only she couldn’t move, she was stuck, trapped by fate and by fear. Breathless and disoriented, she took a single step forward looking for, she didn’t know what until she bumped into it.
Her anchor in the storm.
Chapter Eleven
Happy Things:
Hugs
As Owen drew Abi in, he could feel her body trembling and hear her whispering to herself. One minute they’d been flirting, the next she’d leaped right out of her skin, and it hadn’t all been from the dropped tray. Nope, she’d nearly collapsed to her knees with fear, just like in the parking lot.
It bothered him then and it bothered him now.
He ran his hands up and down her back, his heart breaking a little while she clung to him as though she needed him more than she needed her next breath. And speaking of breath, hers were coming in short, hard, concerning puffs.
“Cornbread. Honey butter. Mee-maw’s chili.” She sniffled. “Mee-maw’s hugs. Mee-maw.”
He tightened his hold and rested his cheek on the top of her head, trying to soothe away the tremors quaking beneath his hands. “You’re going to be okay.”
“That’s usually my line,” she murmured into his chest. “I just got startled.” She started to back away, but he held on. She looked up. “Really, I’m okay.”
She wasn’t. He rubbed his thumb down her tear streaks and she pushed his hand aside to embarrassedly wipe at her cheeks. But to his surprise, instead of pushinghimaside, she rested her forehead back against his chest. Her breathing was still labored and her stance wobbly as if she might keel over at any moment.
“I know you are.” Just like he knew she needed to sit down until her breathing slowed.
She straightened and began to sway. “I think I might be sick.”
“Your mind is just tricking your body that it’s in trouble. But I promise you’re safe. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”
“I never know if I can trust my mind,” she admitted, her voice so fragile he slid his arm around her waist.
“Then trust me. Can you do that?”
He knew he was asking a lot. Trust didn’t seem to come easy for Abi. After hearing about her childhood, he couldn’t blame her. Owen had benefited from a strong family support system and sense of community. Moving around as much as she had must have been hard on her, but there was more behind her panic. Something awful happened to her. Something that he was certain he wouldn’t like.
“If I say yes, will you make fun of me?”
“Not today.” That earned him an ever so quiet little laugh. Grabbing a cold bottle of water from behind the bar, he slid his arm around her shoulder to stabilize her and guided her into his office, where he sat her on the couch.
He went down on his haunches, taking her hand and placing it over his heart. He held it there. “Just take deep breaths. In and out. You got this.”
He watched as her heartbeat slowed and her breathing regulated. He didn’t let go of her hand, keeping it pressed to his chest. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“I was just startled.”
“You already said that. You should never play poker. Your bullshit face is crap.”
