Page 31 of Situationship
IT’S SWIM WEEK INPE.
PE. Maddie’s least favorite class of the day. She could toss a teammate twenty feet in the air, flip and fly across a cheer mat, but she couldn’t run a mile without her asthma acting up or go in the shallow end without triggering swim-induced cramps. That was her story, and she was sticking to it.
THERE ARE TAMPONS IN THE
BATHROOM.IBUPROFEN’S IN
THE MEDICINE CABINET.
CAN YOU CALL THE SCHOOL&
TELL THEMICAN’T DOPE.
YOU CAN ARGUE YOUR
CASE WHEN YOU GET THERE.
I’M AT WORK.
Colin put his phone on silent and grabbed the chart outside the exam room. The first patient of the morning was Ulysses, a seventy-pound bullmastiff puppy. Colin loved puppies. Their slobbery licks and wagging tails reminded him why he’d become a vet in the first place. And some days he needed that reminder. With his newly appointed boss, he needed those reminders more than ever.
He was reaching for the exam room door when his phone buzzed. Three separate times in rapid succession. Boom. Boom. Boom.
With a tired groan, he pulled the phone back out.
IT’SMONDAY SOIHAVEMR. MILLER.
HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO
BE A WOMAN.
AND HE’S A TOTAL DICK.
LANGUAGE.
IT’S TRUE. MAYBEI’LL ARGUE
MY CASE BY KICKING HIM IN THE
NUTS AND TELLING HIM THAT’S
HOW CRAMPS FEEL.
OR MAYBE JUST SWIM
THE DAMN LAP.
LANGUAGE
The three blinking dots vanished, and he took a moment to enjoy the rare but refreshing drama-free silence as he slipped the phone into his lab coat pocket and entered the room.
“Good morning,” he said, walking over to his patient and ruffling his ears, which led to Ulysses’s entire body wagging. “It looks like Ulysses is in for a well-puppy checkup to get his last round of shots and a pre-neuter exam.”
“About that,” said Ulysses’s dad, Gary. “I want his testicles in a jar.”
Chapter 9
Mess with me and I’ll fight back, mess with my
