Page 66 of Broken Pieces
He nods without saying anything.
My gaze lingers for a moment, before I grab a plate and grab a pastry with fruit. My mind is running with so many thoughts. Last night, I had more time to reflect and I practiced a handful of scenarios, but the reality is so much different. There’s so much I want to say, and this is as good a time as any, but I second-guess myself every step of the way, like I always do. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Before I can speak up, he walks up to me. “Aria, listen, about yesterday.”
I gulp, dropping the plate next to the pastries and turning around. “Damian—”
“No, please. Listen,” he interrupts.
I thin my lips, shaking my head. “No. Let me speak first.”
His eyes are pleading, expectantly. He thinks he did something wrong. It’s written all over his face. Little does he know, he gave me the courage to face my fears. Gave me the courage to reflect that I, too, feel so much for him.
I let out a shaky exhale, trying my best to calm my nerves, and lock my eyes on his. Somehow, amidst everything, I’ve started to find peace in his forest-green eyes. If I get lost in them, I just know everything will be alright.
I’ve never been open to anybody, but with him, it just feelsright;safe; meant to be.
“I’m a complicated person, to say the least. I think you’ve seen enough to confirm that.”
He shakes his head, grabbing my hand and giving it a gentle, caring squeeze. “You’re not complicated at all. Trust me on that.”
He says it with such conviction, I almost believe him. But I’m a complete mess. My whole life, I’ve done things to make other people happy. It’s not lost on me the mistakes I’ve made in my life.
I’ve convinced myself I’m a shit of an artist and refuse to pursue what my heart truly desires simply because I’m afraid of rejection. Afraid of looking ridiculous. Afraid of embarrassment. Doesn’t matter that I managed to place those boundaries four years ago with my mother by disappearing off of the face of the earth, because she came back, and as soon as she did, I let her walk all over me with one single phone call.
All my life, I’ve worked my hardest to be someone I’m not. Look a certain way. Dress a certain way. Those boundaries I placed are a lie, because she’s always in the back of my head, like an inner voice telling me how worthless I am. The worst part is, I believe it. What’s even worse? I don’t know how to stop believingit.
I inhale deeply, trying to hold back the tears that want to escape. “Believe me, you’re wrong.”
“You’re just fighting your demons the best way you can,Tesoro. Believe me, I know that.” He hangs his head in defeat with a sigh. “I’ve been fighting my demons too. Every fucking day.”
His voice is one of conviction. Of a man that has been through Hell and back, a man who is so, so tired.
A man I can relate to.
“I want to open up to you, I do. But only if you’re willing to do it too, Aria. I meant what I said yesterday. I can’t do things halfway,” he shakes his head, “Not with you.”
“I want to. I do. But I don’t know how,” I confess with a strained whisper.
He closes the distance between us, bringing me in for a hug. His cedarwood scent envelops me, making me feel at ease.
He smells like belonging. Like home.
He kisses the top of my head as the tears fall down my cheeks. It’s too late to stop them. This man, right here, can bring so many emotions out of me without feeling judged.
“Open up to me, Darling. I promise to catch you if you fall, always. Just let me be there for you.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that he will, in fact, always be there for me. I can trust him. Iwilltrust him.
“I believe you.” I sigh. “I just need time. It’s,” I gulp, trying to find the rightword, “hard.”
He brushes his knuckles against my cheek with a tender touch as he nods. “Well, I’ll be here when you’re ready. Because you’re worth it.”
The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly. I decide to stay in and study the potential pieces that are being auctioned today. I promised myself I wasn’t going to work, but this has to go perfectly. This is when my perfectionist personality comes into play, becoming a double-edged sword. There are some interesting pieces being sold today, but there are still other pieces that remain a mystery. They typically like to create some hype within the community so more people attend.
My hair’s in a sleek updo, allowing my pearl white love heart earrings to shine, adding a gold bracelet with a heart charm on my wrist that pairs well with the earrings. The dress that Sophia let me borrow is a simple one-shoulder long-sleeve made of black satin with a side slit that’s a little risqué. Since I’m taller than Sophia, the slit is settled higher than it normally would, but I’m trying not to think about it too much. I just need to remind myself:I am beautiful.
I pair the dress with my usual black Louboutin and red lip that more often than not, makes me gain much-neededconfidence. Putting some perfume on, I glance at my phone to make sure I’m not running late.
