Page 8 of False Play
I knew I sounded like a grade-A asshole, but my career was theonlylifeline I had. It was theonlything I had going for me. When I wasn’t training, I was spending my time developing and caring for a non-profit I’d anonymously founded when I started playing and making real money. Not many knew this information, Kennedy included. I wasn’t particularly eager toannounce to the world what I did in my private time. It was hard as it was to keep the world out of my life. And this particular part? I cherished it with my whole fucking heart. It was too important to me. So I took the necessary measures to keep it a secret.
“Great idea, Kennedy.” Coach nodded, and without missing a beat, he looked at me and said, “You can afford to miss a couple of training sessions, because you’re benched until further notice.”
I stood abruptly in disbelief and raised my arms in awhat the fuck?gesture. “Coach, this is bullshit! Youneedme.”
He shot me a withering glare. “What Ineedis for my star center to get his shit together. I understand you like to be the joker, to give the people what they want, and I’ve allowed it to happen, but tonight you wenttoo far. If you don’t fix this attitude of yours, your ass will keep warming the bench for the rest of the season for all I care.” He scoffed then looked at Kennedy. “I want Henry to participate in any volunteer work you and the marketing department have planned as long as it doesn’t interfere with our away games.”
Kennedy shifted in her chair uncomfortably but gave him a court nod.
What the fuck?What was actually happening? I could feel my sanity slipping through my fingers as I desperately tried to hold on to it. If they took away from me the only thing that made me happy, the only thing that kept me sane…I honestly didn’t know where I would end up.
“How are we supposed to have a chance at the Cup with me on the bench?” I asked, desperation taking hold of me. “You’re seriously going to bench me for defending myself when Holt kept sputtering bullshit out of his goddamn mouth?”Fuck, was I angry. My hands were shaking, so I clenched them—hard. My nails bit into the flesh of my palms, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The physical pain numbed a much worse and deeper ache.
Coach smirked, though there was not a trace of humor behind his eyes. “You should have considered this before you decided to fight back,king of the ice,” he replied mockingly.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck.
I’dneverbeen benched—not even during my rookie season. Benching me wasn’t just a mistake; it wasreckless.
I’d never been so terrified in my life until that moment. And I’d been through some pretty rough shit during my childhood. But nothing compared to the only thing that made my heart beat being ripped away from me.
My eyes found Anthony’s. He knew damn well the revenue the Strikers were going to lose if they went through with this. There was no way he was going to allow such a rash decision. He was a smart businessman above anything else.
Anthony shook his head. “Don’t look at me. I trust Sloane and what he thinks is best for this team.”
“I’ll do better. I promise.” My voice cracked and my eyes burned, but I held back with the little strength I had left.
“You’re lucky this isn’t turning into something worse.” Coach scrubbed his face with a resigned sigh. “We love having you here, Anderson. You know you’re like a son to me, but, buddy, this has gone too fucking far. Enough is enough,” he added softly, which, if you knew anything about Coach, you’d know he was anythingbutsoft when it came to his players.
His comment made my back straighten real fucking quick. He didn’t need to explicitly say what he meant. I heard him loudandclear.
You’re lucky you’re not being traded.
The thought squeezed my lungs with fear, making it impossible to breathe. This was the city I wanted to retire in. I was tired of packing up my shit and starting a new life everyso often. The past three years had been…amazing. I was finally in a place where I belonged. My friends, the people I considered family, all lived here. Being tradedwasn’tan option.
He leveled me with a knowing look. “Prove to me you can keep a cool head, and I will put you back on the ice.” He waved his hand at the door. “You’re dismissed.”
Rage still bubbled inside me. I was frustrated, tired, and I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs for someone to listen to me. I was drowning in the uncertainty of what was to come. But I shut my eyes and gave him a clipped nod before storming out of his office.
And,fuck, I hated this feeling that creeped up on me when I least expected it. The shame was hard to face, too. My mom was probably so disappointed in me. There was no way she hadn’t heard what happened. I didn’t even want to know what Olivia was thinking. She was probably livid. All I was managing to do at the ripe age of thirty was disappoint people I loved because I couldn’t control my emotions.
I wondered if this was howhefelt.
No. Don’t go there. At least you have the decency to feel guilty about it. He never did.I reminded myself of the mantra I came up with years ago, hoping one day it would make me feel slightly better about myself.
Spoiler alert:It didn’t.
The pain in my chest signaled the panic attack that was making its quick way to me, but when I looked up, I found Liam Donovan—right winger and captain of the team—jogging my way. So with a deep breath and a mentalkeep-your-shit-togetherpep talk, I shot him the smile I’d perfected over the years with a nod.
“What did Coach say?”
I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck. “He benched meuntil further notice, and I’m basically going to be babysat by Kennedy.”
He pursed his lips as he gave me an exasperated look. The look alone managed to chip at my already fucked-up head. Having the captain of the team I played for disappointed in me stung. I was so sick and tired of upsetting people I cared about.
“What the hell were you thinking, man?”
Iwasn’tthinking. That was the root of the problem.
