Page 84 of Wristlocked
“And I’m just supposed to forgive him for being the exact thing I was afraid of?”
“What is there to forgive?Thinkabout it. You know how badly he needed out from under Celeste’s thumb. You wanted that for him too. Hell, you’re the one who brought him home to Guy and Chloe when he needed help. What did you think was going to happen?”
“That’s different. That wasmyidea.”
“It can still be your idea. If Carmen had never opened her bitch mouth, you’d still be fucking happy your mom stepped in.”
I shake my head in denial, but I can’t meet his eyes.
“Do you seriously think everything you and Gale have been through together was all part of some nefarious plan? You’re not that fucking blind.”
“I thought he at least chose me forme. Because he could see what I saw in us together.”
“How do you know for sure he didn’t? And even if he did initially choose you as an escape plan, your motives weren’texactly fucking altruistic either. You wanted something from him too.”
“I wanted something that was his to give.”
“Maybe it’s time you realized that your name is yours to give too, Gia. It’s not just something for your parents to hold over you. You’ve earned it. More than ever in these last few months. You both got something you wanted from each other. That doesn’t mean all the rest of it isn’t real.I’mreal, and I’m here telling you, don’t throw this away. Please, Gia.” He’s crouched in front of me now, his large hands wrapped around my knees, begging me to hear him.
“Do you love him?”
“I might. But not as much as you do.” He doesn’t flinch or look away.
“God, I’m such a mess.” My head drops back against the wall. “Why am I always so selfish?”
“Monsters are greedy. Now get up, and let’s go get our other one.”
“I’m serious, Lyot.” I raise my head and cover his hands with my own. “Why do you love me?”
“Because you’re fierce. And fearless. Because being damaged doesn’t make you selfish, Gia. You’re allowed to want the things you want. And if you didn’t want things so spectacularly and go after them with your entire fuckingbeing, none of us would be here. None of us would bewhole.”
I want to kiss him then. I want to lose myself in his perfect body and his boundless heart and let myself be worthy of him.
“I break things, too,” I whisper instead. “I broke us once.”
“You never did. What’s the Leonard Cohen song?”
“The one about the crack in everything?” I smile faintly. Lyot did his routine to that song the year he beat me at Viva Fest. He had the whole judges’ panel in tears over it.
“It’s how the light gets in. Now can we please go?”
41
Lyot
I got her. On our way back.
Where you at?
We’re at the dorm.
Went by your room. We’re in Gia’s now. You coming?
Hey. Answer me.
What happened to not doing anything stupid?
WHEREARE YOU?
