Page 42 of The Alpha's Fallen Spell
I nod, strangely comforted by the peaceful death she describes. After so many years of pain and torment, the thought of simply drifting away doesn’t frighten me.
“Why are you helping me with this?” I ask suddenly. “You of all people should be trying to convince me to embrace my wolf, not suppress it.”
Maya is silent for a long time, her fingers tracing the edges of the vial. “When I first changed,” she says in due course, “I was terrified. Even with Griffin by my side, there were moments I wished I could go back to being human.” She looks over at me, her eyes soft with understanding. “The difference is, I eventually chose this life. You never got to choose.”
“And now I can,” I breathe.
“Yes,” she agrees. “Now you can. I can’t promise this will work. I can’t promise it won’t harm you. But I can give you the chance to decide for yourself.” She sets the vial down carefully. “That’s something the Silver Ring never gave you.”
I reach out, my fingers hovering near the vial without touching it. A future, however brief, stretches before me—one where I can explore who I am without the constant struggle against my wolf. Where I can walk among humans without fear of shifting, without my heightened senses overwhelming me. Where I might find out what I love, what I’m good at, who I could have been if my life hadn’t been stolen.
“How soon would it take effect?” I ask, my voice hushed with anticipation.
“Almost immediately,” Maya says. “Within an hour, your wolf would begin to retreat. By tomorrow, you’d likely feel different. Quieter inside. More singular.”
“And shifting?”
“Impossible, as long as the drug is active in your system.”
I try to imagine it: a mind free of the constant presence of my wolf. No more animal instincts battling with human thoughts. No more shifting bones and tearing skin. Just me, as I might have been if they’d never experimented on me. And more importantly, the pain will go away. The pain of the rejected fated mate bond, which I’ve buried deep inside me and refuse to acknowledge.
“The nobles wouldn’t be able to call me an abomination anymore,” I say with a bitter smile. “I’d just be a human.”
Maya’s expression darkens. “Don’t make this decision because of them. Or because of Erik. Or anyone else.”
At the mention of Erik’s name, something twists painfully in my chest. “I’m not,” I say, though the words feel hollow. “This is for me. After twenty years of having no control over my body,over my life, I want to feel like myself again. Even if it’s only for a little while.”
Maya reaches across the table and takes my hand. Her touch is warm, steady. “There’s something else you should know,” she says. “If you take this, and you change your mind later, I can’t guarantee we can reverse it. The longer your wolf is suppressed, the harder it may be to awaken.”
I absorb this, the finality of the choice before me. “I understand.”
“Do you?” Maya’s voice sharpens slightly. “Once you start down this path, each dose makes it harder to turn back. Your wolf is already weakened. Suppressing it entirely may be a one-way journey.”
I think of my life in the palace these past three months. The whispers that follow me through the halls. The fear in the eyes of the servants. The contempt from the noble families who see me as less than them—a half-breed, an experiment gone wrong. I think of Erik walking with Elina in the moonlight, running with her as wolves while I watch from the shadows.
What place is there for me here? What future?
“I don’t care if I die,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just want it to be on my terms. I’ve spent my entire life as someone else’s experiment. Even if it’s just for a little while, I want to live as myself.” I meet Maya’s gaze steadily. “As a human.”
She studies me for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then she pulls the vial back slightly, just out of my reach. “Before I give you this, I need you to do two things.”
My heart sinks. “What things?”
“First, talk to Griffin. As king, he should know about this decision.” I want to protest, but she holds up a hand. “Not because he needs to approve it, but because he cares about you.And because this is an experimental treatment developed in the royal laboratories. He deserves to know.”
I can’t argue with that logic, though I dread the conversation. “And the second thing?”
Maya’s eyes soften. “Talk to Erik.”
“No.” The word comes out sharply, edged with pain. “He made his position clear. He doesn’t want me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes,” I say bitterly. “I asked him specifically if he would have a problem with me finding another mate. He said no.”
Maya’s eyebrows rise. “You asked him that?”
“I wanted to be sure,” I say, looking away. “He’d been avoiding me for weeks before that. He rejected our bond. He said he doesn’t want me as his mate. What more proof do I need?”
