Page 19 of Enticing the Elf
“You were going to anyway,” Alistair tells me. “But I’m glad we didn’t have to convince you. The first question we have is about the scope of the challenge. Does it need to be a single task?”
Jared’s breath catches, and he props his elbow on the table, chin in palm. “Interesting. Multiple criteria would be more effective for assessing the outcome.”
I slowly turn to look at him. “Is that a teacher thing? Are you being a kindergarten teacher right now?”
He shrugs. “It’s not exclusive to teaching. The best way to assess something is to look at several key elements, not just one.”
“Exactly,” Hagen says. “Dáithí, c’mon, you’ve seen me do this before. When we’re building a bridge, we don’t pick the spot based only on the proximity to the town. We look at a whole bunch of stuff first. The only true way to determine Eoin wants a committed relationship is for him to be in one until he dies. That’s the ultimate proof. Since that’s not something you’re willing to try without assurances, we need to look at other measures.”
Guilt and self-loathing swamp me. “This is wrong. Eoin doesn’t deserve?—”
“No.” Andrew holds up his hand to stop me. “This was Eoin’s idea, remember? He told you to test him. Unless you’ve changed your mind and are ready to make your relationship official, thebest way to show your respect for him is to let him try to win you over.”
I’m still a little nauseated by the thought, but he’s right. I want—desperately want, have always wanted—to throw caution to the wind and dive headlong into being Eoin’s boyfriend, but I truly don’t think it’s what he wants, and I’m not putting myself through that again. When he realizes, partway through these tests, that we’re not meant to be, he’ll be grateful to me. We can continue on as friends, probably, and yes, I’ll be a little bruised by the loss of him, but nowhere near what I would be if I let myself love him.
He’d be so easy to love.
I swallow hard. “How many did you have in mind?”
The bros grin at me in a way that makes me think of glitter bombs and hidden plastic ducks. I may have unleashed a monster… or a team of them.
“I’m so glad you asked.” Caolan gestures with a flourish to the screen, and I see that it’s changed to another bulleted list, this one titled “Objectives.” They really have given this some thought. I can’t believe they put it all together in a few hours. “As you can see,” he continues, “we’ve broken this down into subsections. The overall goal is for Eoin to prove he’s ‘relationship material,’”—Caolan actually makes air quotes with his fingers—“but that can mean a lot of things, and we also want to show that he’s relationship materialfor you, specifically.”
I hadn’t considered that. It’s not a bad point. The last thing I want is to prove Eoin would make a great boyfriend for someone else.
“It’s not up for debate that Eoin is capable of maintaining commitments,” Hagen says, taking over. “Dáithí, I’m sure you agree with that.”
“Yes, of course.” I nod. “He’s committed to the king and to his service to the DEA—before that, the King’s Army. He’s loyal tohis friends. You’re a good example of that, since anyone with less loyalty would have ghosted you millennia ago.”
He folds his arms across his chest. “Rude. I’m an excellent friend.”
I wave that off. “Whatever. The point is, I agree that Eoin is capable of commitment—it’s not something lacking in him. But there’s a big difference between a job and friends and your life partner.”
“And that’s why we’re here. To start with, we’re going to test his dedication to commitment?—”
“But you just said?—”
“—when there’s no element of expectation,” Hagen finishes. “With a job, there’s a requirement to deliver. There’s a boss and colleagues, and if you stop performing or showing up, there are consequences. The same with friends—if you never join in or answer calls, there’s someone who can call you out for it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Noah demands.
“We’re saying that to truly test Eoin’s ability to commit, we need to do so without him knowing,” Alistair announces mysteriously.
Noah looks at him like he just said the sun was green. Jared and I exchange glances, and he shrugs.
“I’m guessing you have ideas for that, so let’s move on. What else are you planning to test?”
“How he relates to you,” Andrew replies. “How well he knows you and how he behaves in reaction to things you do and say—or situations you’re in.”
Jared perks up. “Oooh. That could be fun.”
“None of this is fun,” I remind him. “Why doesn’t this meeting have chocolate?” Or booze.
“It’s going to be fun,” Alistair assures me. “At least, it will be if Eoin lives up to my expectations.” He holds up his arm, andfor the first time, I see the pink wristband on it. “I’m on Team Success.”
“Team… Success?” The words are spelled out in black letters against the pink.
“How did you have time to have those made?” Noah demands. “Did you getanywork done this afternoon? You’re already behind on your reports.”
